Volume looks at awful movies

Elizabeth Taylor's 'Cleopatra' is one of the historic flops.
By JAKE COYLE
ASSOCIATED PRESS
In "Fiasco: A History of Hollywood's Iconic Flops," James Robert Parish wonders at the deranged beauty of the mushroom clouds formed by the biggest bombs ever produced by Hollywood.
Each of the book's 14 chapters is on one exceptional stinker -- including the Elizabeth Taylor vanity epic "Cleopatra" (1963), the misguided Robert Altman-directed musical "Popeye" (1980) and the NC-17 lap dance "Showgirls" (1995).
For everyone who ever exclaimed, "How did that movie get made?!" -- well, this is the book for you.
Parish analyzes how quixotic hopes were derailed by foolhardy casting, extravagant spending and overbearing producers.
This is, to be sure, a horror story.
Like a child peering through fingers during a slasher flick, you might also shout in fear. But instead of "Don't go in there!" you'll be screaming, "Please, don't rewrite Paddy Chayefsky!" or "No, Robert Evans, don't side with an inexperienced screenwriter against Dustin Hoffman!"
Parish, a former entertainment reporter whose books include the grisly "Hollywood Book of Death," sets three criteria for a true belly flop: the involvement of stars; a crass intent to make a hit picture; and lavish promotion to build high expectation.
Trinity
The author suggests an "arch trinity" of runaway filmmaking: Kevin Costner's "Waterworld" (1995), the desert debacle "Ishtar" (1987) and Michael Cimino's "Heaven's Gate."
(That 1980 film, which contributed to the end of artistic control for 1970s filmmakers, is not chronicled here, instead deferring to Steven Bach's detailed account in "Final Cut: Dreams and Disaster in the Making of 'Heaven's Gate."')
A few things stick out in Parish's tales of doom:
UStay clear of musicals. For every "Singin' in the Rain," there are a dozen like "Popeye." How "Chicago" escaped this trend is still a mystery.
UNo one's innocent. Many ingredients go into making a true bomb. Though most directors, actors and writers are in some way artistically motivated to work on these movies, they abide foolish script changes and settle on half-written roles. Big paychecks usually help grease the wheels.
UBe distrustful of Robert Evans. Though one of Hollywood's greatest producers ("Chinatown," "The Godfather"), he pops up in several of these disasters: "The Cotton Club," "Popeye" and "Paint Your Wagon."
UFinally, the difference between a bomb and a hit can be slight. Remember the early warnings -- soaring costs, overrun deadlines -- of "Titanic"? Many of Hollywood's greatest triumphs are made by people who ignore reason.
Though Parish's book would benefit from more firsthand quoting of the principal people involved, it smartly describes the general circumstances behind each film. Marlon Brando's frame of mind going into "The Chase" is relevant, as is the takeover of Paramount by musical-happy Gulf and Western CEO Charles Bluhdorn.
This is, in short, a manual of what not to do. Many of the lessons of "Fiasco" -- finish the script before shooting, avoid celebrity couples -- are relevant to today's much-maligned Hollywood.
But while these films highlight some of the absurdities of the studio system, the flop is as much a part of moviemaking as popcorn.
So bring on the lemons; Hollywood could use a little more daring.
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