'Uppity' attitude scorned

Dear Annie: For the past two years, my husband and I have been renovating a house in a transitional neighborhood. Not so nicely put, it's an inner-city ghetto. We love our little house and are trying to have a positive impact on the neighborhood, but small things keep happening to make me feel very discouraged about living here.
My tulips are picked from the stem, and my marigolds have blatantly been dug up from my flowerbeds. People throw trash in our yard, and anything that is not nailed down on our porch is stolen. We even had our Christmas lights taken. Someone breaks into my car on a regular basis and leaves all the doors open so my battery is sure to be dead in the morning when I leave for work.
When we first moved here, we threw a neighborhood barbecue and no one came. One of my neighbors ventured over to tell me that people thought we were "uppity." We know we are the only college graduates on our block, but what is so uppity about mowing your lawn? Why take your resentment out on my flowers?
We are at the point where we are ready to turn our backs on all the work we have done on our home and move, but I truly do not want to leave. How can I make things better? Michigan Rehabber
Dear Michigan: People tend to be very resentful of those who gentrify their neighborhood. It means change. Property values go up, and they might have to move.
They see you as the first wave of opportunists who think they know better. If you truly want to stay, you will have to tough it out. Meanwhile, try to make friends with one neighbor -- just one. Invite someone over for pie and coffee. Ring a bell and ask to borrow a cup of sugar. And invest in a good set of jumper cables.
Dear Annie: My daughter gave my wife three scratch-off lottery tickets for Mother's Day. One was a $10,000 winner. My wife promptly gave my daughter $2,000 of her winnings.
My daughter went home and told her husband. She then called my wife and insisted she should have gotten half the winnings. My wife explained to her that it was a gift, but my daughter hung up the phone.
Now we probably will never see our grandsons again. I told my wife that I wish she never would have won that money. What is your opinion? A Reader
Dear Reader: Yes, your daughter is wrong. The tickets were a gift, and the winnings belong to your wife. It was generous, as well as appropriate, for her to give $2,000 to your greedy and ungrateful daughter. However, that doesn't solve your problem. If your daughter insists on holding the grandchildren for an additional $3,000 ransom, we say grit your teeth and pay it. Your wife is still up $5,000, and there will be peace in the family.
Dear Annie: This is in response to "Worried Dad," who bought his son a car and insurance, but the son didn't keep up his grades.
When my oldest son got his license, these things became an issue. When my daughter got her license, we bought her a car, paid for gas, insurance, etc. This time we made her sign a written "Driving Contract," which laid out our expectations, grades (she is expected to carry a B average), curfews, boundaries of driving, amount of gas we would pay for, consequences of accidents, and so on. My daughter also added her expectations to the contract, i.e., that we wouldn't use her car without her permission, etc. We all signed it.
I highly recommend this for every parent of a teenage driver. We had no trouble whatsoever. Dad Who Has Been There
Dear Dad: Spelling it out in writing can clarify matters for everyone. Good for you, Dad.
E-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@com-cast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox™, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611.
Creators Syndicate
Copyright 2006 Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.