Surfer-dude look is a complete wipeout

Classic swim attire for men will hit the beach this summer.
By MADELEINE MARR
KNIGHT RIDDER NEWSPAPERS
Good luck catching a glimpse of anything naughty as guys ride the waves or take a jaunt along the shore this year, because men's swimsuits are moving on up.
The hot suit this year is the semi board short, which has a tailored, classic cut, hitting above the knee or at mid-thigh, with respectable waists resting firmly at the hip.
Bathing suit designers are making up for the modest, and, some may say, uninspired shapes with shark-attracting wacky prints and loud colors, according to Nick Sullivan, fashion director of Esquire magazine.
Status symbols
For the status conscious, Sullivan says the "strongest" brand right now is Vilebrequin, a St. Tropez mainstay since the '70s that opened in Bal Harbour Shops in Bal Harbour, Fla., about a year ago. "They (carry) the colors and prints men would normally avoid -- pinks, yellows, animals, fruit -- but somehow on the beach it's OK," he says. "It's that Euro preppy vibe." (Priced around $150 each, www.vilebrequin.com.)
For casual sorts, Nautica is also rolling out lots of tropical prints -- pineapples, hibiscus leaves and vines -- in hues like bright orange and bright green ($45 and up; www.nautica.com). Color blocking is another mod-meets-prep theme the company is exploring -- say, white and green on top, black on the bottom.
A snazzy looking bunch, for sure, but remember you probably need to log at least a few hours at the gym before you can pull off such attention catchers.
"The beach is the great separator of the men from boys -- and old men," Sullivan says. "We really are feeling the body-beautiful pressures that women have always felt, and wearing flashy colors is like waving a big flag." Any doubts, he advises toning it down with slimmifiers like navy, dark maroon, brown or even black.
For body beautiful
Then again, if you have the body of an Adonis, all bets are off -- especially in South Beach: Pull off whatever you want, and go as low as you please. For this blessed male, square-cut shorts -- the next size up from a bikini -- are the thing.
Barneys Co-Op in Miami sells styles by hip New York brand Parke and Ronen, whose form-fitting floral and striped cotton trunks ($65; www.parkeandronen.com) follow a '50s silhouette.