One minority helps another find homes for children

More gays are turning to adoption, as this third in a three-part series explores.
LAKEWOOD, Ohio (AP) -- The 3-year-old, tooling around his leafy backyard, brushes past his "Pappa" looking for a stone to throw until "Daddy" moves to settle down the youngster and bring him inside to get ready for bed.
When he walks to the park hand-in-hand with his two father figures, Robbie stands out for another reason: He is black and they are white. This is increasingly the face of adoption in America as gays and lesbians respond to states' need to find permanent homes for foster children, and most of the available children are black.
"It's happening every day, and it's in growing numbers," said Adam Pertman, executive director of the New York-based Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute, which studies adoption issues.
Experts think adoption by gays and lesbians is perhaps 5 percent or 10 percent, or several thousand out of about 125,000 adoptions yearly.
The Rev. George Graham, 42, a United Church of Christ minister, adopted Robbie three years ago. As an unmarried partner, Michael Fleenor, 43, was barred by Ohio law from becoming a joint adoptive parent but would become Robbie's guardian if anything happened to the Rev. Mr. Graham.
Seeking acceptance
"Some children live with a mommy and daddy, some with two mommies, some with two daddies," said Mr. Graham, repeating the theme he and Fleenor, his partner of 16 years, have tried to instill in Robbie before he learns about family differences in the school yard.
Sometimes the lessons come earlier than expected: Robbie's day-care center mentioned plans to make Mother's Day cards.
"We didn't mind getting a Mother's Day card," Fleenor said. "We were just concerned how Robbie felt."
Mr. Graham -- who is Pappa -- and Fleenor asked the day-care staff to consider broadening the activity to include grandmothers or other women who have special roles in the life of a youngster with two fathers.
The two were aware of the number of black children awaiting adoption and said they quickly bonded when they saw Robbie for the first time.
An Associated Press review of one day showed 62 of Ohio's 88 counties had a percentage of black children in foster care at least double that of the number of black children living in those counties. Nationwide, black children are more likely than white youngsters to end up in the system.
The federal Adoption and Safe Families Act of 1997 sought to rescue the children who were lingering in the foster care system for years by offering monetary incentives for adoptions -- more for youngsters labeled special needs, as minorities often are because of the tendency for families to pass them over for healthy, white infants.
Obstacles for gays
Many adoption agencies, particularly those sponsored by faith-based groups opposed to homosexuality, won't place children in gay or lesbian homes, Pertman said.
That isn't necessarily a barrier. "If you are gay or lesbian you don't need 100 percent of agencies to place a child. You need one," he said.
Only Florida bans gays and lesbians from adopting, according to the American Civil Liberties Union. Other states, like Ohio, will allow an individual to adopt but not unmarried couples, gay or straight.
Since the 1997 law encouraged more foster adoptions, several states have passed or tried to pass laws making it more difficult for gays to adopt. GOP legislative leaders in Ohio recently quashed a bill that would have outlawed adoptions by gays, and most other states leave it up to courts to decide a child's best interests, according to the National Conference of State Legislatures.
The nonprofit group Citizens for Community Values, which backed an Ohio ban on adoption by gays and lesbians, said allowing them to adopt would amount to a social experiment.
"We don't see any validity in doing experiments on children," said David Miller, vice president of the Cincinnati-based group. "It's important that children grow up in a family with a mom and dad. I think that mothers and fathers together are most likely to raise healthy children than anyone else."