Going with wife's request won't save marriage

Dear Annie: My wife of 16 years recently let me know that her fantasy is to have sex with another couple. It caught me by complete surprise, since our sex life is great. In fact, before her announcement, we had been enjoying the best sex of our marriage.
I made the mistake of telling her that I would think about it, believing it was just a fantasy and she'd let it go. Instead, ever since, she has been insistent that this get done, even going so far as to suggest that I have a "one-night stand" with another woman in preparation.
I now believe that I accidentally let the tiger out of the cage, and I am either going to have to do what she wants (which I am not fired up about) or risk losing her. I live in a small town, far from any available counseling, so that isn't an option. Also, I doubt she'd appreciate the suggestion. Now what? SOS from the Homefront
Dear SOS: Do you think complying with your wife's request will save your marriage? It won't. She is obviously dissatisfied with her life, and fooling around will not fix that. Also, if you are neither eager to cheat on her nor watch her cheat on you, being pushed into such a situation will make you resentful and jealous. You need counseling, whether or not your wife appreciates the suggestion. If you cannot find counseling services through your doctor or local hospital, contact the American Psychological Association (apa.org) at (800) 374-2721, and see if they can recommend someone for online or telephone counseling.
Dear Annie: I am a female doctor with a common problem. The female support staff in my office assume it is OK to address me by my first name. The male doctors are referred to as "Dr. Smith" and "Dr. Jones," yet the other female doctor and I are addressed by our first names.
I don't want to come across as snobby or pretentious, but we deserve the same respect as our male counterparts. I made it a personal policy of mine not to become social with the people I work with, so I'm not sure why they thought this was OK with me. This isn't the first office where this has happened, and I know I am not the only one with this complaint. Any suggestions? Frustrated Doctor
Dear Frustrated: Either your staff members have less respect for you, or they are assuming a bond of sisterhood. If you don't like it, for heaven's sake, speak up. Say nicely but firmly, "I'd appreciate it if you would refer to me as 'Dr. Doe,' the same as you would a male doctor. It is more professional."
Dear Annie: Here is my response to "Not Knowing in Illinois," who asked how to fill out the racial questions on her daughter's school forms.
I am Mexican-born, and my husband is African-American. When I enrolled our son in kindergarten, I was not given the option of "other." I was informed if I left it blank, the school would choose an ethnicity. When he was in second grade, we changed districts. I was pleased to see this district gave me the opportunity to write "Hispanic/Black."
After two years, I noticed that my son's school papers listed his ethnicity as "White." When I asked the school about it, I was informed that there had been a change in the way the racial categories were counted and that all "others" were realigned. This change was made without contacting the families.
I now redo the forms every so often and change my child's race so both ethnicities are counted. Our son should not be forced to choose one or the other. Ethnically Diverse and Proud in California
Dear Proud: Today's children reflect our multicultural society and should not feel that any part of them doesn't count.
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