It's easier for his wife to deny it than deal with 'Andrew's drug use



Dear Annie: My wife and I have been married for 18 years. I adopted her children, "Jim" and "Andrew," and we also have two younger boys under 14.
Andrew, now 21, has no job, won't look for a job and has been arrested three times for drugs. I have caught him repeatedly with drugs in his room, and I want him out of the house. When I bring this to my wife's attention, all she does is ask him not to bring drugs into the house.
I just found part of a dope pipe in Andrew's room and also a bag that I'm sure he used for crack. These bags have been showing up in the same place in his room for almost a year. Andrew admits that he used crack, but when his mother questions him, he says he's "straight now." I find that answer a little vague. Does he mean completely, or that he hasn't used any in the last two days?
As always, my wife believes every word that comes out of his mouth. I don't understand her naivet & eacute; after all his lies, and she doesn't seem to think her tolerance of his drug use will have any effect on our younger two children.
I want Andrew gone, or I'm going to take the boys and move out, and I truly do not want to do that. Please give me some guidance. Prematurely Balding in Indiana
Dear Indiana: It's easier for your wife to be in denial about Andrew's drug use than to deal with it. She fears if she throws him out, he may not survive.
Talk to your wife, and make it clear that she is doing a disservice to your younger children by showing them that there are no consequences to this behavior. She also is allowing Andrew to be at risk if his drug use is not addressed. Both of you must be responsible parents and tackle this difficult situation head-on. Contact Because I Love You (becauseIloveyou.org) for information and help.
Dear Annie: I am having a hard time getting my dream job. I have a form of dyslexia. When I have applied for this particular job, I am asked if I have dyslexia or any similar problem. When I tell them yes, that's the end of the job interview, even though I meet every other requirement. They treat me like a monster.
I have tried job counseling, but it is just a waste of time, energy, effort and money, as their idea of a job would make me very unhappy. I don't have a college degree and don't want to go back to school. What can I do? Dyslexic in Louisiana
Dear Dyslexic: We have no idea what kind of "dream job" would require you to admit that you are dyslexic and penalize you for it. We suspect there may be other reasons behind the rejection. Nonetheless, when you cannot get the job of your dreams, it may be time to dream about something else. Every job you take provides you with experience. Allow the job counselors to direct you to a position for which you are qualified, and then learn from it so you can use that experience to move into something you like better.
Dear Annie: You printed some letters about co-workers with body odor. Here is the perspective of someone who has body odor.
I keep myself exceptionally clean. I shower daily, wear fresh clothing, use deodorant and still have been told that I smell musty. This has been going on since adolescence. I've been tested for allergies and diseases and have avoided certain foods, but nothing has solved the problem. The impact on my life has been significant. I tend to stand away from people, and it is hard to form friendships.
Incidentally, I cannot smell any odor at all. Stinky in the Rockies
Dear Stinky: When we last covered this topic, readers suggested switching soap, deodorant, shampoo, moisturizer, detergent and fabric softener, as well as eliminating one food at a time from your diet and wearing all-natural fabrics. We hope one of these will work for you.
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