Odors coming from upstairs are downright disgusting

Dear Annie: Never in a million years did I think I would be writing to an advice column, but here I am.
My mother is 91 and lives in the same house I was raised in. Her brother, "Aaron," also lives there and has the entire upstairs to himself. Mother always has been very organized and keeps her part of the house immaculate, while Uncle Aaron has become a hermit. No one has been upstairs for years.
The problem is that in the last few months, Aaron's disregard has permeated the whole house. I'm talking about bad odors and the accumulating signs of deterioration. I can barely visit because of the uncleanliness and general decay. Mother is up in arms, saying, "I can't do anything about it. I wish someone could."
My uncle was the greatest guy in the world when I was growing up, but numerous failures, both financial and romantic, have led to this lifestyle. He stopped maturing around age 15. We still kid about the fact that he's waiting for Archie and Jughead to pull up and go to the beach. The flip side is that his IQ is off the charts.
Uncle Aaron has a kind heart and helps Mother with groceries, but that's about it. He has isolated himself and refuses to let anyone upstairs. I want to get someone in there to clean, but Uncle Aaron will have none of it. He's 86 going on 16. What can I do? Son and Nephew
Dear Son and Nephew: Is Uncle Aaron reluctant to let someone upstairs because he's a packrat? If so, he may be willing to let you clean if you reassure him that you will take care of his precious accumulations. You also can contact Adult Protective Services to send someone to check out the situation, but they may recommend that Uncle Aaron be moved to a facility, and we are not sure Mom will agree to that. At the very least, you should see that Mom's section of the house is professionally cleaned so Uncle Aaron's problems can be contained.
Dear Annie: My husband's parents are both deceased, and he has only one sibling, "Agatha," who lives in another state. I married into the family just before my mother-in-law died, and I was well accepted.
The problem is that since my in-laws died, Agatha never visits, except for an hour stopover on her way to her annual vacation spot. Yet, when we do get together, we always have a good time.
We have tried visiting her but always come up against her "busy life." My husband has never once seen Agatha's home, where she's lived for 10 years. This past year, Agatha finally invited us, only to cancel at the last minute.
Agatha and her husband travel all over the country visiting college friends and her husband's family, but not us. We e-mail regularly, but I no longer have any desire to write her. It all seems so phony. Agatha is my husband's only living relative. He says it doesn't bother him, but I can see how hurt he is. Are we expecting too much? Slighted Sister-in-Law
Dear Sister-in-Law: The only way you are going to know why Agatha can't find time for you is to ask her. Be direct but nice. E-mail and say how much you and your husband miss seeing her, and ask what you can do to be closer.
Dear Annie: I have another solution for "Rachel in San Francisco," whose grandmother left her 200 journals that she wanted to shred because no one had room for them. Tell her to scan them onto a disk. Hope this helps. Midwest Keepsake
Dear Midwest: A good suggestion -- although the quality of the documents may be iffy, not to mention the time involved in scanning 200 journals. But this is a good way to hang on to the journals without using up so much storage space. Thanks.
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