Annie's Mailbox It takes more than lingerie for her

Dear Annie: I'd like to comment about long-married husbands giving their wives sexy lingerie. Guys are visually stimulated, so they should refrain from buying such gifts unless they know they are appreciated. Otherwise, it comes across as giving themselves a present.
My husband thinks our waning sex life is all my fault. I am in my early 50s, married 30 years. When middle-age spread started winning a few years ago, I got in gear and reclaimed my figure. My husband gave up the battle. I've tried everything to encourage him to lose weight, but he's not interested. He hasn't had a checkup in more than 20 years. He is a stroke waiting to happen.
He asks what he can do to improve our sex life. I say start taking care of your health and body. Instead, he gives me sexy lingerie. I try to cooperate, but my resentment about his disregard for our future has all but erased my desire. And you can imagine the impact an apron of fat has on getting things done in bed.
I never expected him to keep the athletic body he had when we married, but I am mad at him for doing this to himself and to us. If he becomes incapacitated, he expects me to divorce him and put him in a nursing home rather than drain our finances. He actually believes when "the big one" hits, he will die quickly with no regrets. He is the dumbest smart guy I know.
To all those ladies who are happy to wear the lingerie, I'm glad it's working for you. I wish that's all it took for me. Missing Him Now
Dear Missing Him: It's much easier for your husband to buy sexy lingerie than admit his weight is the problem. That would require too much effort. You might be able to get him to take long walks in the evening if you tell him it's foreplay, but unless he is willing to work on this, there is nothing you can do. If you love him, please keep "cooperating" and hope your TLC helps him live longer.
Dear Annie: Has common courtesy fallen by the wayside? This is for those rude, insensitive people who dial a wrong number. At least have the decency to say, "I'm sorry. I dialed the wrong number." Don't just hang up.
Nothing is more frustrating than answering a phone, only to hear a click and then nothing. This stresses me out, wondering if it might have been a friend or family member in need who was disconnected. Sometimes, I dial Star-69 to find out who called, and this costs me money. It only takes a few seconds to say "Sorry," and courtesy doesn't cost a thing. Not Just a Number
Dear Not: Most people stay on the phone long enough to ask for the wrong person, but you are right that others simply hang up as soon as they hear an unfamiliar voice. They are probably embarrassed and confused. We hope they will remember that the person on the receiving end is confused, too. Be polite, folks.
Dear Annie: May I add my two cents about thank-you notes?
From the time my two girls could print their names, they wrote all their own thank-you notes. It sometimes was just a picture with the words "Thank you," but I know they were appreciated. When my mother-in-law passed away two years ago, my husband and I found every note our girls had written to her.
The girls are now 26 and 28, and we still get the most beautiful thank-you notes for even the smallest things, like helping them move furniture. A little effort while your children are young can pay off triplefold. May God bless parents who take the time to teach their children manners. L.B.
Dear L.B.: Amen.
To our Bah & aacute;' & iacute; readers: Happy Ayyam-i-Ha.
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