Favoritism leaves him feeling less loved

Dear Annie: My problem concerns my parents' complete infatuation with my sister's family. I'm a middle-aged father of four, and my parents always have focused all their time, money and attention on my sister and her family.
My parents have given my sister's kids new cars, paid for their insurance, gas, apartments, etc., while my children aren't acknowledged at all. My nieces and nephew, all adults now, tell stories and lies about me and my children, and my parents believe them.
Should I tell my parents how we feel? I seriously doubt they will change because they believe the world revolves around my sister. I am at the point of completely severing ties. Any suggestions? Turning Numb in Illinois
Dear Turning Numb: You must tell them, but keep in mind that your parents probably don't see the situation the way you do, especially since you've said nothing for so many years. However, your resentment is so intense that you have nothing to lose by letting them know you feel hurt, neglected and less loved than your sister.
Try to keep your anger in check so you can turn this into a useful discussion instead of a furious rant that puts them on the defensive. We hope your parents will acknowledge their favoritism and do better. Good luck.
Dear Annie: I have been married for two years to "Rhonda." She has two children and custody of a grandson.
The problem is that Rhonda cut her hours back to part time, yet she insists on keeping her son and grandson in a private school. We cannot afford this. Rhonda complains constantly about having to struggle financially, but when I suggest removing the kids from the private school, she refuses.
My stepdaughter had another baby and now wants to take her son back. I know Rhonda will stand in her way. Our life together has been nothing but hell, and she attacks me for all of her mistakes. I want to leave because she is nuts. The money problems are her fault, and we can't fix them until she wakes up. Should I leave her or stay? Stressed Out in West Haven, Conn.
Dear Stressed Out: Does this private school offer scholarships or financial aid? Many do, and this could solve a lot of your financial troubles. Also, try counseling before throwing in the towel. There are low-cost options through your clergy, United Way, the YMCA and the Alliance for Children and Families (alliance1.org).
Dear Annie: I am a 54-year-old daughter and would like to respond to those letters about parents giving their children money.
My middle-class, blue-collar parents decided to retire early. They both had worked, sometimes as many as four jobs, to keep up an old house, us kids and an uncle in the "old country." They loved us and put enormous effort into our growing up right.
When my parents turned 59, they said, "There will be no inheritance. We are going to enjoy our retirement." They bought a modest new house that didn't need constant fixing and welcomed my sister's family and mine to share during our own rough times. They were perfect grandparents to our kids.
My sister and I feel this was the best thing they could have done. They spent time together. They saw their relatives overseas. My sister and I never looked forward to an inheritance. We looked forward to visiting Mom and Dad. They gave us what money cannot buy.
I plan the same future for my kids. No dangling dollars to cloud a perfect relationship. Perris, Calif.
Dear Perris: Good for you. No child should expect an inheritance. What parents earn through their own hard work is theirs to spend as they wish, and heaven knows, the cost of growing old has become so expensive that children should be grateful when parents can afford to support themselves.
Creators Syndicate
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