Christmas greetings from those near, dear

As you roast your chestnuts on an open fire on the eve of the big event, here are Christmas greetings from individuals who have had or will have an impact on your lives. May their words spice up your toddy and may they inspire you.
URick Kozuback, chief executive officer and president of Global Entertainment:
To my friends in the Mahoning Valley, Ho! Ho! Ho! The Chevrolet Center is a gift that keeps on giving -- for my company. We had a great year. I know that some of you think we're snake oil salesmen because we promised a 1.15 million profit in the first 12 months of operation, but ended the fiscal year with a loss of 23,653.
But there's good news around the corner. We believe the arena will make a profit of 629,953 in its second year. You can take that to the bank. On second thought, you had better not.
Ho! Ho! Ho!
UState Sen.-elect Capri Cafaro:
Christmas is a time for giving, and I give you my word that I will be the best state senator in the history of this Valley -- until I become the best congresswomen.
My critics contend that I shouldn't have been appointed by Senate Democrats to succeed Marc Dann because I haven't paid my dues. To them I ask, what does paying dues have to do with anything?
In this season of hope, I leave you with the following message: Many are called, but few are chosen -- if they have the money to influence the decision.
Here comes Santa Claus, Here comes Santa Claus ... daddy?
UThe Rev. Jay Alford:
Let us celebrate the dawning of a new political era in the Mahoning Valley in which men and women of the cloth will lead us to the promised land.
For those who say that pastors should not be involved in politics, I would simply point out that tomorrow we celebrate the birth of one of history's foremost politicians. He, too, had his detractors, but he stood up for what he believed and refused to be cowered by his enemies.
So, I say unto you, onward Christian soldiers.
Separation of Church and State? A concept not worth contemplating.
Merry Political Christmas.
UGov.-elect Ted Strickland:
To all my fellow residents of the Mahoning Valley, I'm living proof that miracles do happen. It wasn't so long ago that I was a virtual unknown as a congressman representing a district in southern Ohio. Then, the Republicans pulled a fast one on us Democrats by redrawing the congressional boundaries. That forced me to run in a new district that included Columbiana County and a portion of Mahoning County.
I wasn't given a chance of winning the seat, but I did. And then I decided to run for governor, after having established my residence in Lisbon, and again the experts said I could not win.
But here I am, just weeks away from being sworn in as the governor of the great state of Ohio.
My opponent in the general election was Republican J. Kenneth Blackwell, the secretary of state, who ran with the strong backing of Christian evangelicals. Blackwell had the experience of running statewide and winning. I had never run statewide. I won by a huge margin.
Thus, on the eve of Christmas I extend my heartfelt wishes to my many supporters in the Valley and offer this lesson learned from the governor's race: Voters have grown weary of individuals who try to mix politics and religion.
UBertram "Kidney Stones" de Souza:
Merry Christmas and a happy and prosperous New Year to the medical and nursing staffs in the outpatient and emergency units at St. Elizabeth Health Center and the emergency unit at Forum Health Northside Medical Center for the exceptional care given this writer during a recent attack of kidney stones.
A special thank you to Dr. Richard Memo and his associates for doing all they could to alleviate the excruciating pain associated with the procedures involved in removing the stones.
UFinally, a special holiday wish:
For the individual who used the sign in front of the Dairy Queen on Belmont Avenue to send an obscene message to this writer: May a kidney stone the size of a golf ball pass through you -- without you having the benefit of painkillers. And may the stone have ragged edges.
And as you pass it, may you find another meaning in that old Christmas favorite, "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire."