He finds wife's flirting extremely awkward

Dear Annie: My wife, "Gloria," and I have always had a good relationship. We socialize a great deal with a group of married friends. One of the men in the group, "Bob," knew Gloria before we were married.
Much to my distraction, Gloria flirts salaciously with Bob. Bob's wife doesn't appear to notice. But Gloria and Bob's wife have been good friends for years, so it's possible she takes the flirting in stride. For me, however, it is extremely awkward.
I don't want to make an issue out of this in front of our friends, but it is rather unnerving to me. When I've mentioned it to Gloria, she pretends not to be aware of her actions. On occasion, she has flirted like this with other men. Once we were out to dinner and she flirted with the waiter.
While I have no problem with her being friendly with males, the heavy-duty flirting crosses a line. How can I mitigate her flirtation and save our marriage? Flustered
Dear Flustered: Does it bother you that Gloria flirts, or that she flirts with Bob? We're not entirely sure what you consider "heavy-duty flirting." When most women flirt with waiters, it consists of smiling, being charming, maybe some giggling, and we consider that harmless. If she were to run her fingers up his sleeve and make smooching noises, we'd call that "heavy duty." If this is the type of thing Gloria is doing, you need to tell her that it is disrespectful to you, makes you feel unimportant to her, and you'd like her to stop.
Dear Annie: When our elderly relatives visit for the holidays, the only thing they want to do is sit outside, smoke cigarettes and drink wine. Since they're not very mobile, it's hard to take them places (the movies, restaurants, etc.), and besides, they really don't want to go anywhere anyway.
We don't enjoy our time together at all, but we feel guilty not being with them, since the holidays are supposed to be family time. Any suggestions? Desperate
Dear Desperate: We know this isn't the most pleasant way to spend your time, but we're going to ask you to suck it up and do it anyway. This is your family, warts and all, and we presume the holiday season is the only time you're with them, so try to make the best of it. You do not have to do everything together. If you want to go to the movies, make an announcement that all are welcome to join you, and those who do, fine, those who don't can stay home, drink wine and smoke on the porch. Trust us, they won't mind, and it will make the other times easier to bear.
Dear Annie: Please share this with "Tired of Defending Myself," a licensed practical nurse whose sister looked down on her chosen profession.
For almost 35 years, I have heard civilians, firefighters and medical caregivers criticize and insult ambulance drivers, paramedics and nursing home caregivers. Despite this treatment, good men and women excel at their technique and performance and have a great deal of compassion. During medical school, I received a monthly tongue lashing because I was a former paramedic. But those with true compassion supported and encouraged me, as they will her. I met men and women who helped people not for glory or pay. They did it because they could not refuse a person in need.
I am the medical director for a nursing home, paramedic ambulance service and county fire department. Over the years, I have seen people like "Tired" comfort those who are alone, protect those who suffer and cherish those who feel no love. Please thank her for me. Daved van Stralen, M.D., Assistant Professor of Pediatrics, Loma Linda University School of Medicine.
Creators Syndicate
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