Stepchild refuses to show due respect



Dear Annie: My first wife died when my children were small. I remarried "Eleanor" when my kids were teenagers, and they came to love her.
Eleanor has four children older than mine who were out of the house and on their own when we married. Three of her children are wonderful. I feel blessed by their attention. My problem is "Tina." In spite of the fact that I met my wife long after her divorce and we've been married for almost 20 years, Tina is always on my back.
I try to be patient with Tina, but she makes snide remarks about everything I do. For example, if I drop something, she says, "Isn't he clumsy? Ha, Ha!" On one occasion, she served hors d'oeuvres to the person I was talking to, with her back to me, and then walked away with the tray.
I don't mind the rude behavior half as much as her attitude. She seems to think I'm too stupid to get it. She becomes especially rude in a group, particularly if my wife is out of sight, telling me my attire is inappropriate or my hands are dirty, or my shoes are scuffed, whatever. I keep turning the other cheek, but that has only made her more tenacious.
I will not step between my wife and her child, so I tolerate this. My problem is the grandchildren. All the others are a bundle of joy, but Tina's children, 12 and 8, think I am just some man who hangs around Grandma. When they shy away, it brings me to tears. I am rarely allowed to speak to them, and they actually think my name is "Stranger." No joke. What can I do? Grandpa Stranger
Dear Grandpa: We don't understand why Eleanor allows her daughter to treat you so abysmally, and we guarantee nothing will change until your wife demands that Tina show more respect. If you don't want to mention the general rudeness, you certainly ought to tell Eleanor that you would like the grandchildren to call you something other than "Stranger." It's way past time.
Dear Annie: My husband and I sleep in the nude. When our first child was old enough to notice, we modified our habits. We always keep a robe next to the bed so we can quickly slip into it. We keep our bedroom door closed. This has worked well. While our children know we sleep in the nude, they don't see us naked.
Our question is, what we should tell our children if they ask us if they can sleep in the buff? This hasn't happened yet, but we expect it. We can't see any harm if they are old enough to keep warm in their blankets and understand the rules of privacy that we adhere to. On the other hand, sleeping in the nude is something we did not do until we were adults. What is your opinion? Connecticut
Dear Conn.: As long as your children understand the need to cover up when they are not under the blankets, there's no reason they cannot sleep in the altogether. You can stop worrying.
Dear Annie: I agree completely with the position of "Frustrated Doctor," who objected to office staff addressing her and other women doctors by their first names, while addressing male doctors as "Dr." In a professional setting, all doctors should be addressed by their titles. However, I wonder if these doctors return the courtesy.
Most doctors address their staff by their first names. And doctors are among the worst offenders when it comes to first-naming their patients. I am in my 60s and have had doctors half my age call me by my first name without so much as a by-your-leave. Many medical procedures are unavoidably intrusive and embarrassing. If the doctor addresses adult patients properly by title, it can help them retain a sense of dignity in an awkward situation. Call Me Mrs.
Dear Call Me Mrs.: A lot of readers agree with you. Anyone who does not want a doctor using his or her first name should make it clear to the physician immediately.
E-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@com-cast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox™, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611.
Creators Syndicate
Copyright 2006 Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

By using this site, you agree to our privacy policy and terms of use.

» Accept
» Learn More