Self-absorbed family hogs conversation

Wednesday, August 23, 2006 Dear Annie: My son and his wife have become so absorbed in their own problems and priorities that they seem to have completely lost interest in anything or anyone else, including us. When they visit, they talk only about themselves and their two daughters. If we attempt to talk about things going on in our lives, our daughter-in-law will either talk right over us or quickly change the subject back to their daily issues. Our son is a good provider, and our daughter-in-law is a good mother, housekeeper and cook. But in all the years they've been married, we've detected an increasing lack of interest in anything but themselves. Should I express my feelings to my son and risk insulting or hurting him? Or should I let them continue in their blissful ignorance and not mention how we feel about their lack of concern for others, especially his parents? Concerned Mother Dear Mother: First, do an honest appraisal of your side of the conversation. Is it possible you talk a lot about your problems, your aches and pains, your financial difficulties, your health? Many children don't want to hear these things, and your daughter-in-law's chatter may be her way of heading you off at the pass. Even so, these visits should include more give-and-take. It's OK to tell your son that his one-sided conversation makes him seem rather self-absorbed. But if you are looking for a sympathetic ear, Sonny doesn't appear to be a good candidate. We recommend developing your friendships, joining social organizations or talking to a counselor. Dear Annie: As a parent with three teenagers, I am shocked at some of the TV reality shows, MTV videos, morning radio shows and Internet pop-ups. The filth and fantasy have teens in another world. I am totally helpless to prevent immorality, obscenity and vulgarity from occurring in my own home hundreds of times a day. I have some ideas for reality TV, like "Sleepless in the USA," a show about teens having babies. Or "Teens Left Behind," the ones whose irresponsible behavior with alcohol, drugs and reckless driving has killed friends and family. Or perhaps "Sex in Our Cities" — interviews with teens who are coping with STDs, HIV and AIDS, and those who have had abortions or given babies up for adoption. I would recommend putting positive things on as well. How about "American Idols," which would recognize teens who have made a positive impact? Or, "Extreme Makeovers," about families that have successfully struggled to stay together without using alcohol, drugs or getting divorced? Our teens emulate actors, sports stars and musicians who seem to compete to be the most obnoxious, vulgar and self-centered. I shudder to think what parents of the next generation will have to put up with. America's Most Frustrated Mom Dear Mom: We love your ideas, but you are not helpless. Most computers and TVs offer parental control buttons and off switches. Use them. Dear Annie: For the most part, I agree with your advice to "Price Tag." The price tag should not be left on a gift. However, I will be honest and tell you that if it's a gift to a family member whose preferences I am not familiar with, I will put the receipt in an envelope and tape it to the bottom of the box. Items go on sale, and many stores will only let you return a gift at its original price if you have a receipt. Different View in Baraboo, Wis. Dear Baraboo: That's a legitimate reason, but many stores offer gift receipts if you request one. This allows the recipient to have all the pertinent information necessary for a full refund or exchange, but the price is hidden. Creators Syndicate Copyright 2006 Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.