You've got mail ... lots and lots of mail

The government's highway safety agency did a survey on driver distractions and found something shocking.
I'll let the agency's spokesperson say it:
"We see people talking on the phone, checking their stocks, reading e-mails, all while driving 50, 60, 70 miles per hour."
The problem is that it leads to a higher accident rate.
But to me the shocking part of it is this:
Why do we need such constant input at all?
What kind of person has to check in so obsessively?
Pretty much most of us.
Once, we only expected mail every 24 hours. Now, it's every few minutes. That's how often some folks check for personal e-mail, even on the job.
As for stocks, people used to check those once a day, too, in the morning newspaper. In recent years, I've known rookie investors who get so caught up they'll check certain stocks a dozen or more times a day. And by "rookie investors" I mean me. And probably you. Who benefits from that kind of stock checking? All I can think of is stores that sell Tums and Zantac.
People defend this by saying we're now nimble enough to do many things at once. The usual word is "multi-tasking."
I don't buy it. It's simply distracting.
I should know because I just did it. I paused in writing this article to check e-mail. Then I checked news. Then I Googled some past acquaintance. Now that I'm back, I've briefly lost my momentum.
Why do we do that?
It's probably an addiction. Every few minutes, we need another "fix" of input.
I saw this really odd thing in Starbucks the other day. A couple was sitting at a table sipping from cups and actually chatting. The other customers were more typical -- many were alone with laptops hooked to the Web by Wi-Fi. They were no doubt checking e-mail and stocks during their "break," but even that wasn't enough because most were also listening to iPods.
Input decade
Remember the me-decade? We're now in the input decade. Maybe the input millennia, because I doubt it will get better.
There's a great line I once read about the baby boom generation, which today goes double for teens and 20-somethings: "Instant gratification takes too long."
If you have kids or teens, you're familiar with how callers will dial the house or cell phone five times in a row until someone picks up because they know you're there. I'm told that's called "blowing up" someone's phone. No one wants to wait for a call back.
I was at a restaurant with my family the other night. Like many, it had a no-cell rule. But I noticed my daughter texting under the table. Later, I asked why this was necessary.
Get real
Everyone does it, she said. Did I expect her to go a whole two hours without checking in with friends? Get real, Dad.
I asked what she was texting about.
Oh, "Where are you?" "A party?" "Who's there?" "When are we going to go shopping?" Or it could be a random thought, like: "Oh my God, I miss summer; it's almost here." I'm not sure why they have to suddenly text that, but they do.
I've even seen her texting while watching TV. Later, I asked what she needed to tell someone so urgently.
Her example: "Oh, my God, Theresa had Ryan's baby." That's from "The O.C." I mean, it's supposedly Ryan's baby.
Any other examples of needing to check in?
Sure -- she recently went to Taco Bell and felt so guilty about indulging that she had to tell someone. So she texted her friend Kate and admitted: "Oh my God, I just ate an entire Number 5, a nacho supreme. Who am I? I can't believe you're not here to get fat with me. Miss you."
Then she told me something that explained a lot of all this.
I asked why there's such a need to constantly check in -- messages, IMs, texts, e-mails, voice mails. Why?
Disconnected
Because if you don't, she said, if you let even an hour go by without some give and take, then you feel ... disconnected.
No one, she said, wants to feel disconnected.
What if you can't use your phone or a computer for a few hours?
Thankfully, she said, there are almost always messages piled up when you plug back in.
Maybe we are addicted to input.
Maybe instant gratification does take too long.
But if, beneath it all, it's really about connection, I suppose there's cause for hope.
Patinkin writes for Providence Journal, Distributed by Scripps Howard News Service.