KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR \ Annie's Mailbox Soldier comes home, must face battle he lost

Dear Annie: I'm an American soldier who fought in Iraq. I'm not writing about the battles over there, but the battle I lost at home.
While I was in Iraq, my wife had an affair. I had just pulled into a base after our convoy had been ambushed. When I checked my e-mail from home, it dawned on me that something was wrong, even though my wife didn't say so. When I returned home months later, she denied it, and I believed her. Eight months later, I had proof and finally knew I hadn't lost my mind. I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders. I'm not sure where we will go from here, but I am a lot better off knowing the truth.
I didn't ask to leave my family to go to war, but when ordered, I went and fought with pride. While I was away and the affair was going on, people back here knew but did nothing. If one of these friends had said something to my wife, maybe they could have stopped her. And if someone had told me the truth, it would have prevented several months of confusion on my end. I don't blame them for not telling me while I was in Iraq, but I wish they had said something as soon as I got home. Bad news doesn't get better with age.
The pain of knowing my wife was cheating and not having anyone back me up was worse than anything I felt in the war. I was awarded the Bronze Star for defending our home. A little help protecting mine would have been nice. Just Another Soldier
Dear Soldier: We aren't sure what anyone could have done to convince your wife to remain faithful. And telling you the truth would have been difficult. While you apparently appreciate having the facts, no one could have expected you to accept this information with gratitude. We're glad you came home safely, and hope you and your wife are in counseling and working through your problems. Now please forgive your friends and family for being human.
Dear Annie: I've known "Rayna" for 14 months. In fact, I dated her for nearly a year. But she is playing with my mind. She's all nice to me one moment, and the next, she's saying she never wants to talk to me again.
I still love Rayna, but my family and friends say I should find a new girlfriend to get her off my mind. What should I do? Mixed Up
Dear Mixed Up: Rayna enjoys playing games with your head because it gives her power over you. It also means she is still interested in you, but we'd avoid anyone whose idea of romance is seeing how high she can make you jump. Ignore her completely and she will stop.
Dear Annie: As an avid reader of your column, I have noticed a preponderance of the letters you receive are of a sad note. I would like to take this opportunity to change that.
On April 18, 1931, my parents, Howard and Ethel Swaney, entered into holy matrimony. They will celebrate 75 years of wedded bliss this year. I believe such a monumental occasion will not come along again in my lifetime. I, as well as my siblings, of which there are eight surviving, will be in Iowa, along with the parents we love so very much, to celebrate their 75 years of marriage. It would mean so much if you could mention this in your column. Anxiously Awaiting the Date in Anchorage
Dear Anchorage: Being able to celebrate 75 years together is quite an achievement, and a testament to your parents' love and devotion. We wish them a Happy 75th Anniversary and send our very best wishes, and our congratulations to your entire family.
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