Parents seem to be jealous of reader's in-laws

Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for three years, and things are great. The problem is my parents, who can't stand my in-laws.
I discovered how my parents felt when a friend told me that my mother said horrible, untrue things about my in-laws at our wedding. I confronted my parents and asked where this hostility was coming from. Mom said my in-laws flaunt their wealth and behave as if they are better than everyone else. Annie, that's just crazy. My in-laws make a lot of money, but they would never say or do anything to make others feel inferior. They've always been friendly and welcoming to my parents.
My husband and I have chosen not to tell my in-laws how my parents feel, although they may have an idea. We've planned a vacation in my in-laws' hometown, and we'll be staying with them for a week. Since my parents don't live far away, they're coming to meet us. Mom and Dad will stay at a hotel. My parents don't want to see my in-laws at all, but I think it will be hard to explain their absence.
I'd like us all to be together, but I'd hate for my parents' hostility to come through. I love my in-laws and don't want my parents' behavior to reflect poorly on me. How can I keep the peace? Stuck in the Middle
Dear Stuck: Your parents seem insecure and jealous. You cannot fix that, but over time, we hope they will see that your in-laws are not a threat. (Although expect periodic flare-ups when you have kids.)
People related through their married children do not have to like one another or spend time together, so don't feel obligated to get everyone at the same table. Ask your parents to do one activity with the whole group, but otherwise let them make their own plans. Treating both your in-laws and your parents with respect and love is the best you can do. Try not to make their relationship your problem.
Dear Annie: I note that you and other columnists often advise people to seek counseling for their problems, but the cost for a professional is $100 to $200 an hour, and several sessions are required.
I've tried five different counselors, but none would take Medicare. I was given another referral, and although we discussed the cost beforehand, the counselor raised the price three times after my husband and I had gone to her for about 10 sessions.
Now if I want help, I have to begin again. What can I do? Need Therapy
Dear Need Therapy: Finding the right counselor takes time, and often, you have to go through several before you get the right match. We're sorry you've been having so much trouble. Try these: United Way, the YMCA, your local hospitals, churches, university psychology departments and graduate school counseling departments; Recovery Inc. (www.recovery-inc.org) at 802 N. Dearborn St., Chicago, IL 60610; the American Association of Pastoral Counselors (www.aapc.org) at 9504A Lee Highway, Fairfax, VA 22031-2303; Samaritan Counseling Centers (www.samaritaninstitute.org) at 2696 S. Colorado Blvd., Suite 380, Denver, CO 80222; and The Alliance for Children and Families (www.alliance1.org).
Creators Syndicate