More women covering their assets

Women are entering marriages with stock options and other material wealth.
By GEORGIA EAST
KNIGHT RIDDER NEWSPAPERS
FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. -- Over a casual dinner, Rachel Kaplan turned to her boyfriend and asked, "You're open for a prenup right?"
Darren Waldohlz, 38, a partner in a successful speed dating business, admits he was caught off guard. But he said he realized a prenuptial agreement would protect the house he owns, too.
"It's not that I plan to get divorced," says Kaplan, 23, a single mom from Fort Lauderdale, Fla., who has a sizable inheritance. "I have to protect myself and my daughter."
While men are still more likely to seek a prenup, "women are becoming a more dominant force," said attorney Alan Braverman, who has offices in Fort Lauderdale and Boynton Beach, Fla.
Experts attribute the change to women's marrying later or more than once.
Not uncommon
"It's not uncommon in today's world that women are entering marriages with assets and stock options," said matrimonial attorney Jacqueline Valdespino, in Coral Gables, Fla. "Now both sides have equal bargaining power."
Because couples are not required to file their agreements in court, there is no way to track how many prenups exist and who requested one.
But New York attorney Arlene Dubin, author of "Prenups for Lovers," said informal research shows that between five to 10 percent of never-marrieds, and about 20 percent of previously married partners opt for prenups.
"Divorce law takes a one-size-fits-all approach," says Dubin, "whereas a prenup is your opportunity to tailor the law to your preferences."
Christina Pinter, 28, of Hypoluxo, Fla., talked about her assets with fiance Mark Prazak, 29, before planning their wedding.
Pinter, an elementary school teacher, and Prazak, a ship captain, wrote an agreement that ensures her townhouse would remain hers.
"I told him, 'I love you, and I don't ever foresee not loving you'," said Pinter. "But in today's age, you never know."
Soaring interest
Courtney Knowles, spokesman for the nonprofit Equality in Marriage Institute in New York City, said interest in prenups is soaring. In 2003, the group, which provides information on relationships, marriages and divorce, averaged 1,500 inquiries a month about prenups. In 2004, the number jumped to about 4,000, he said.
Still, he acknowledged, studies by his group in 2002 and 2004 yielded the same results -- about 65 percent of the 1,000 people sampled said they wouldn't opt for one.
Religion is often a reason why.
More conservative
Those with more fundamentalist and conservative beliefs oppose prenups, while others leave it up to the couple, religious experts said.
"Ironically, this is not something new," said Edward Sunshine, professor of theology at Barry University. "In the old days, families got together and made these agreements. It wasn't sealed on a piece of paper, but you knew if you broke an agreement you had the family on your hands."
Sunshine, who teaches a course on marriage and family, said, "The church's teaching is practical, and it realizes that even though marriage is supposed to be permanent, half the time in the United States it isn't."
Still, he added, "If you're at the beginning of a relationship and you start talking about prenuptial agreements, there is a suspicion that it's not going to work or there's going to be trouble down the line."
Rabbi Barry Silver, of Boca Raton, Fla., who is also an attorney, said the antecedent for a prenup in Judaism is the K'tubah, which dates back thousands of years. The religious document, he says, spelled out the obligation for the man and woman getting married and what would happen should they split.
Silver, a Reform Jew, said he can see why a prenup may be necessary for older couples with children, but for first-timers it shouldn't be a priority.
"When you first get married, you should be idealistic," said Silver. "If you start preparing for failure then failure becomes more likely."
How long and how much?
Depending on the assets, a prenup can take anywhere from one month to more than a year to hammer out. Costs typically run from $1,500 and $30,000, though some South Florida attorneys say they will do a simple one for under $700.
To hold up in court, each party must have separate legal representation, unless one side signed a waiver.
When prenups are challenged, the disputes usually stem from lack of full disclosure, said Miami attorney Melvyn Frumkes, who co-authored an article on prenups for the Florida Bar Journal.
Before they tied the knot last September, dance teacher Nuran Gokturk, 44, and her husband, Paul Cosemtino, 54, an investor, talked seriously about getting a prenup. But in the end, they decided against it.
Gokturk said jokingly, "I promised him that if things didn't work out I wouldn't take him to the cleaners."