KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR \ Annie's Mailbox He now treats girls like dirt and gets all the action



Dear Annie: I was appalled at the advice you gave a 22-year-old shy college student who wanted to ask a girl out. You suggested he ask about her finals or what she thinks of her classes, so that the next time he sees her, "You'll be friends."
For males, being friends is the absolute last thing you want to be with a girl. No girl ever looks at a friend and says, "He's hot." A guy today must make it clear from the very beginning that he wants a sexual relationship to avoid being tossed into the "friend" trap. I'd tell "Shy Guy" to upgrade his wardrobe, buy some "bling-bling" and start paying attention to hygiene. He can then run some game on the girl by feeding her lines and clever compliments.
I am 22 and in college. I used to be a "nice guy" until I realized that being nice only gets you a girl who talks about how bad her boyfriend treats her. No amount of kindness will get her to dump the bad guy for you. By becoming a jerk, I've managed to exude a sense of attraction my girlfriends find irresistible, even though, I admit, I neglect them sometimes.
There is a purpose for nice guys, though. They provide the girls with emotional support, while we get all the action. Although they will never admit it, most women prefer the dangerous, tough-guy jerk to the kind, loyal nice guy. It's just a fact of life. SoCali Playa
Dear Prince Charming: We appreciate your honesty, and you make some good points -- there are indeed emotionally insecure girls who think they deserve guys who treat them like dirt. And if a guy is looking only to score, he can behave like a callous pig, and some girls will find that attractive.
Somewhere underneath your "jerk" exterior is a nice guy. When you decide you want to settle down, we doubt you will be content with your current female companions. And the ones you want, the ones who are worth it, may find you a total waste of time. Be careful what you wish for.
Dear Annie: I was married for 39 years, and my husband has been deceased for the last 10. I now have a new love, whom I adore. Is it inappropriate to have pictures of my late husband around the home? I want to do the caring and considerate thing for my new guy. Raleigh, N.C.
Dear Raleigh: Your new guy knows you had a husband, and it is natural to have a few of his photos around. However, you might want to box up the majority of these pictures so you can make room for some new ones.
Dear Annie: While visiting the East Coast last summer, I contracted Lyme disease and was on antibiotics for nearly five weeks. If not caught early, the infection can go into the nervous system, brain, spine, etc., and show up years later, only to be misdiagnosed as MS, chronic fatigue or arthritis.
You just need a simple blood test for Lyme disease. After what I've learned, everyone should be tested for this. Idaho
Dear Idaho: Lyme disease is caused by bacteria from deer ticks and is most prevalent in the summer. Usually, a small, red skin rash develops at the site of the bite between three and 32 days later, and may be accompanied by flu-like symptoms.
Those enjoying the outdoors should avoid areas where ticks live. Wear light-colored, long-sleeved shirts, long pants, high socks (with pants tucked into the socks) and closed shoes or boots. Apply DEET to clothing. Conduct regular tick checks, and remove any ticks (including the head) with tweezers, and apply antiseptic. For more information, contact the American Lyme Disease Foundation Inc. (www.aldf.com), 293 Route 100, Somers, N.Y. 10589.
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