KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR \ Annie's Mailbox Leaky bladders cut class time

Dear Annie: I would like to respond to "Pee Patrol in Pasadena," whose daughter was not given permission to use the bathroom at school as often as needed.
I am a teacher who is constantly frustrated by the loss of academic time due to children leaving class to use the restroom. Yes, I do allow them to go, as I would not want a child wetting herself in class. But what's a teacher to do when a child asks to use the restroom five minutes after returning from recess, doing the "I-can't-hold-it" dance? Or what about in the middle of explaining the math lesson? How about every time silent reading begins? And when one goes, it starts the domino effect.
With recesses and lunch, we have breaks every two hours. Isn't it reasonable for children to train themselves to wait? Maybe you or your readers have some ideas. Open to Suggestions in California
Dear Open: Yes, it's reasonable for a child to wait two hours between bathroom breaks, but that's only if the child takes advantage of the time. Most kids are so busy doing other things that using the bathroom becomes a priority only when it becomes urgent. Other children must drink a lot of water for medical reasons. Then, those "two hours" are an accident waiting to happen. But you are absolutely right that frequent breaks cut into the lessons, and every teacher can vouch for the domino effect. So, teachers, any solutions?
Dear Annie: I am a 16-year-old girl, and I'm worried about my mother. Many years ago, Mom battled with a weight problem, and then did a complete reversal and suffered from bulimia. She conquered that, and I never worried until now.
Recently, I have found traces of vomit by the toilet. I didn't think much of it at first, but now, a little bit is showing up each week, and last night, I heard her gagging in the bathroom. I think Mom is throwing up right before she takes a shower at night, when she can turn on the running water and not be heard. I don't know what to do.
I don't want to confront her and be wrong, or scare her so she does it more secretly. I don't think my dad or anyone else in the family suspects a thing. My mother always has been thin, and she eats well and exercises regularly. I love her so much. Please help. Worried in Colorado Springs
Dear Colorado: It's possible your mother is ill, or even pregnant. But if there is a chance that she is bulimic again, you must speak up. Talk to your father. Say, "Dad, is Mom OK? I thought I heard her throwing up last night." It's honest, and you will be alerting your father without accusing your mother. You are a caring and loving daughter. Your mother is lucky to have you in her corner.
Dear Annie: I've been married five years to an absolutely wonderful husband. My only problem occurs when we visit his parents in Florida.
I am 52 and in the middle of menopause, including hot flashes. We keep our house cool. My mother-in-law, however, flat-out refuses to cool down her house even a little. Because they live in Florida, I am 100 percent miserable. My MIL usually sets the thermostat at 79 degrees. I can barely move during the day, and nights are a torment. Mom doesn't want the ceiling fan on, either. I no longer want to visit them, except in the winter, but my husband insists we see them more often. What should I do? Sweltering Daughter-in-Law
Dear DIL: This is not an uncommon problem with elderly parents, who put on a sweater at 80 degrees, and their menopausal relatives, who come with an internal blast furnace. You cannot ask your in-laws to reset their thermostat for your comfort. It's their house. Can you stay at a nearby motel and meet them for meals at air-conditioned restaurants? If not, bring your own portable fan when you visit.
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