Some have special responsibilities

By DENISE DICK
VINDICATOR STAFF WRITER
AUSTINTOWN -- Mother's Day is sometimes different when you're the mother of a special-needs child.
"On Mother's Day I feel even more special," Leona Crogan said.
Her 16-year-old son, Terry Sean, was born with Down syndrome.
"He calls me his queen," she said. "He tells me, 'I love you, Mom,' many times a day, and typical 16-year-olds don't do that."
Terry is the youngest son of Crogan and her husband, Mike. Their oldest boy, Michael, was not born with Down syndrome.
"It was easy to raise a perfect little boy," she said. "Life was just like everyone else. We were so blessed that Michael didn't have to struggle to feed himself, walk, talk or be potty-trained."
It's a little different with Terry.
Instead of making sure he studies, Crogan and her husband make sure he's receiving the services he's entitled to at school.
Rather than planning for college, they plan for special-needs trusts and guardianship for his future.
As they age, Terry's parents hope he moves into a qualified residential care facility when he gets older.
Crogan said she listens to mothers of older people with conditions similar to Terry's to learn from them.
For parents of most children, the need for constant monitoring ends as the children grow into adults, but for parents of special-needs children, it's a lifetime commitment, the Youngstown mother said.
Toddler
That journey is just beginning for Sparkle Sanders, also of Youngstown.
Her 2-year-old son, DaVail Bryant, enrolled in the early intervention program at Mahoning County Mental Retardation and Developmental Disabilities Board in November.
Through the program at Leonard Kirtz School, the toddler, who is developmentally delayed, receives speech, occupational and physical therapy. He spends four hours in the program, two days per week.
She acknowledges that her Mother's Day won't be like that of mothers of children without the challenges her son faces.
"Even though he shows me love every day, it's not in the same way as what a child without special needs does," Sanders said.
DaVail is too young to understand today's significance, but he's learned to recognize his mom, which she says means a lot.
"He's beginning to smile," Sanders said. "When he sees me coming into a room, he gets excited."
Parent for life
The path has been a long one for Catherine Morley of Boardman, whose son, Rob, 48, is autistic and has some cognitive impairment.
Their plans for today are simple.
"We'll go to his favorite place to eat" -- Eat 'N Park in Boardman, Morley said.
She said her son doesn't realize the significance of Mother's Day, and she acknowledges that sometimes makes her sad.
But since he moved into a group home two years ago, his exposure to different people has helped him express himself more, she said.
"Last Sunday, when I dropped him off at the group home, he told me, 'I love you, Mom. I always have and I always will,'" she said.
Last year, mother and son spent the afternoon the same way they likely will today: Eat 'N Park and then back to Morley's house for awhile before RobMorley returns to the group home.
"Last year, I told him it was Mother's Day, and he said, 'I'm glad, Mom,'" she said.
Joy of parenting
Despite the many challenges, Crogan said she wouldn't change Terry.
After waking up from labor in the hospital, she acknowledged that the news of her son's disability was like being punched in the gut. But she quickly made up her mind that she didn't want to be pitied and she didn't want Terry to be pitied either.
Sixteen years later, she said photographs of him cover her walls.
"He's all over my house and all over my heart," Crogan said. "He danced on my heart the moment I saw his face."