Mom is unsure how to approach 'Steve' about his sloppiness

Dear Annie: My son, "Steve," is 19 years old. He failed out of college the first year and moved back home. He has a full-time job working heavy construction, seems to be reliable on the job and is friendly with all the people he works with.
The problem is that Steve has no ambition other than to go to work. He is overweight, doesn't keep his room clean or do his laundry, and he leaves dirty dishes wherever he is. It's not how I want my house to look.
Steve pays rent, of course, but I don't know how to approach him about his slovenly ways. I am particularly worried that he might suffer from depression, which runs in my family. Two years ago, I suggested he see his doctor about it, and he was given an antidepressant. But Steve claims the pills made him tired, so he stopped taking them.
Annie, deep inside, I feel something is wrong with my son. Do you have any suggestions on how to approach him? Just Want to Scream
Dear Scream: At the age of 19, many young people seem aimless, and sloppiness is not necessarily a symptom of depression. Steve is working, he is reliable, he earns a steady income and he pays rent. Are there other factors that make you worry about his mental health? Be careful not to attribute your fears to your son, who may be doing just fine.
As long as Steve confines his mess to his own room, you should leave it alone, but he should be encouraged to move into his own apartment. If you truly believe he is depressed, suggest he go back to his doctor and mention that the medication made him sleepy. There are other medications available, although if Steve is resistant to taking antidepressants, he may benefit more from traditional talk therapy.
Dear Annie: I am engaged to a wonderful man who is vegan, which means he doesn't eat or use any animal byproducts. I recently have stopped eating meat, too.
It is important to me that my fiance feels comfortable when we visit my family -- Midwestern farmers who have been raising and slaughtering their own livestock for generations. Would it be rude to bring along some vegan foods that my family can enjoy? How do I explain our dietary choices without offending them? Midwest Miss
Dear Miss: As long as you don't lecture, no one should be offended, and regardless of what the family prepares, you and your fiance should be able to find something to eat that won't compromise your beliefs.
But don't wait until you arrive to spring this on your folks, who may prepare a carnivore's feast in anticipation. Call them and say, "Eddie doesn't eat anything prepared with meat products, and I have stopped eating meat as well. If it's OK with you, we would love to cook a vegan meal for the family." We hope they're gastronomically flexible.
Dear Annie: I read the letter from "No Name, No City," who complained about church groups asking for money so kids can go on "exotic trips."
I'm a 21-year-old college student and quite active in my church. Most of us participate in overseas trips as a way of giving back. We go to Haiti for a week to build raincatchers, and we live like the locals, sleeping on the ground in huts.
We build cinderblock homes in Honduras in 80-degree weather while sleeping in a reed shack for two weeks. These are not luxury vacations; they are a way to help those who cannot help themselves.
Those who do not wish to donate to these programs do not have to. But those who refuse should at least know where the money is going. Ticked Off MSU Student in Michigan
Dear MSU: Thank you for clarifying the purpose behind these trips and the good that they do. It's the perfect reminder for Easter Sunday.
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