KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR \ Annie's Mailbox Needs to know if he's comparing her performance

Dear Annie: This letter is for the men in your reading audience. I have been married to "Buddy" for over 20 years. I thought we had a satisfying, wonderful sex life, but Buddy recently told me about several encounters he's had with prostitutes.
I am devastated, sad, angry, hurt -- you name it. He has tremendous remorse, regret and guilt. We are contemplating staying together and working through all of the layers of pain that such betrayal causes. I don't know if I can do it, but I want to try.
I am so hurt and so afraid that those sexual experiences have diminished what we had. I'm fearful Buddy will remember the "talents" of these women, not to mention their youth and bodies, and compare me unfavorably. I'm attractive and thought I was plenty adventuresome, willing and provocative in bed. I was sure that I satisfied him. He certainly satisfied me.
Buddy has had zillions of disappointments in his life and suffers from depression and low self-esteem. My question is for men who have strayed with prostitutes. Did you find yourself comparing them to your wives? Were you not content at home? Please say anything you can about this as I try to recover from this devastating horror. Needing to Know
Dear Needing: Have you asked Buddy these questions? Although some men may choose prostitutes because they are unhappy at home, we suspect that is not the case here. First, you are doing yourself a disservice. Prostitutes are not necessarily young or attractive. They are simply willing and nonjudgmental. Does Buddy have a fetish or sexual proclivity that he doesn't want you to know about?
We are glad you are getting counseling, and we hope you have been checked for sexually transmitted diseases. If we receive any responses to your questions, we will let you know.
Dear Annie: I like fast food. However, there is one facet that I have never seen addressed: the use of sesame seeds on the buns of fast-food sandwiches. Evidently, some purveyors of such food have never felt the agony of having one of these seeds caught beneath dentures. I'd bet these seeds compensate for the lack of ability in making buns -- they cover a lot of mistakes.
Shouldn't these fast-food places think about all their customers? A Whopper of a McOuch in a Box
Dear Whopper: Most fast-food places are trying to please their customers by offering a wider variety of menu items. We spoke to Joe Gerbino at Burger King and Antonio Hernandez at McDonald's. Both said their companies try hard to accommodate their customers. They suggested explaining to the server that you cannot eat sesame seeds and asking for another type of bun. We hope that works.
Dear Annie: You printed a letter from a man whose in-laws are intrusive and demanding. After 25 years of dealing with a domineering, critical and sarcastic father-in-law, I took your advice and am currently talking out my resentment with a psychologist. I discovered that you do your marriage no favors by biting your tongue.
At some point, all those little resentments converge into one unmanageable anger. I was told that my husband's parents never made the transition to a parent/adult relationship. It never dawned on my husband, for example, that it was unreasonable that his parents expected him to do their yard work every weekend, when they had plenty of money to hire someone. I still resent the family time we didn't have.
The problem here is not that the in-laws don't realize how intrusive and annoying they are. The problem is they are too selfish to care. Tell that reader to do what I didn't -- draw that line! Too Nice and Too Late in the South
Dear South: Thanks for sharing your therapy with our readers. We're glad counseling helped you, but it sounds as if your husband should have been on the adjoining couch.
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