Most 'victims' are gracious when it comes to what kids blurt out.

Most 'victims' are gracious when it comes to what kids blurt out.
STAFF AND WIRE REPORTS
The innocence of a young child can add a touch of humor and embarrassment to our lives. The right child, in the right situation, at the wrong time gives you the perfect formula for an extremely awkward position. Anna Aey of Canfield found it difficult to bring her little girl, Lily, into a public restroom.
"Is the lady next to me just going pee or is she going poop as well?" Lily asked her mother.
Aey said her daughter would do that repeatedly in a really loud voice. "Every time," Aey said.
Aey would tell her it wasn't polite.
No matter how trying that would be, every time you went to use the restroom, a child seems to cross over the line with comments like the following:
"Oh Mommy, look at that fat lady!" young Toscha blurted out as she sat in the grocery cart.
Bea Paige of Girard apologized to the woman saying," I'm sorry. Children will say things that are hurtful."
"Don't apologize," the lady retorted. "She's telling the truth. I am fat."
Paige felt even more embarrassed. Trying to console the lady, she said, "Have a nice day," as she walked away.
Or this one:
"She's not as beautiful as I am," Kathryn emphatically said of the baffled waitress.
"Well, your highness, not everyone is quite as beautiful as you," said Janet Kessler of Boardman as she tried to make light of her daughter's comment.
Then there's the cultural gaffe:
"Is that Aunt Jemima?" Megan asked loudly referring to the black woman wearing a turban.
Marilyn Galgozy of Niles tried to quiet her toddler as she moved away quickly.
There's an explanation
Denene Millner, editor of the Reality Check column in Parenting magazine, has an explanation for such events: "A 3-year-old child is like a stand-up comic on truth serum."
"They're just starting to become aware of physical differences -- that people come in different sizes, shapes and colors -- and they're just starting to talk," Millner said in a Knight Ridder interview.
"Along with that, they truly have no concept of self-control, or how something they say can hurt somebody else's feelings."
Parents magazine devotes a page once a month to its "How Embarrassing!" column, a collection of less-than-perfect parenting moments.
There's the 4-year-old who saw a waitress wearing low-cut jeans and called out, "Hey, lady! Your pants are falling down!"
There's the girl who spotted a heavily tattooed man and said loudly, "Mom! He colored his arms with markers, and that's not OK!"
There's the kid who asked an unsuspecting sunbather, "Is that a beard under your arm?"
Once the offending words are spoken, you can't do much besides damage control, said Millner, a mother of two who lives in New York City.
"Take your child aside and quietly explain that it's not nice to comment about how somebody looks or talks or acts," she said. "Then you go over to the person and apologize. And then you hightail it out of there."
Important tips
While you may not be able to prevent your child's accidental insults altogether, Millner said, the following tips may help keep the put-downs at bay:
Expose your child to diversity -- people of various races, sizes, ages and abilities. The more people your child sees using wheelchairs, for instance, the less fascinating it will seem to him and the less likely he'll blurt out something insensitive.
Television can be a good tool because it allows you to talk openly with your child, Millner said. HBO Family recently aired a half-hour special, "Happy to Be Nappy and Other Stories of Me," which features a pair of black girls, a young boy who is blind, a girl with dwarfism, a child with cerebral palsy and a young boy who overcomes teasing for being the only boy in a dance class.
"Children are naturally curious," Millner said. "It's up to us as parents to explain that there's nothing strange or weird about this person, that's just the way they are."
Teach your child that remarks about someone's appearance can be hurtful, even if they're true.
"Children pretty much figure out the things you're not supposed to say -- curses and lies," Millner said. "They don't understand that telling the truth, in certain situations, can also be wrong."
Teach your child to accentuate the positive in other people. "Teach her to say 'I like' a lot," Millner said.
Looking for the good
When you meet someone new, talk about good things you noticed about the person -- and don't focus only on physical traits. Talk about the person's generosity, for instance, or what a great cook he was.
Anticipate potentially embarrassing situations.
For example, before a birthday party, remind your child that it's not nice to complain about a present. If you're going to visit someone in a nursing home, explain that many of the people there will be using wheelchairs or walkers.
Above all -- and you've heard this a million times -- set a good example.
If your children hear you insulting or criticizing others, even under your breath, they'll think it's OK to do it too. And remember, they're a lot louder.