KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR \ Annie's Mailbox Family may not want to know about her care

Dear Annie: My 89-year-old grandmother has been living with my parents for the past couple of years. Although Grama has some medical problems, she always has been spry and independent.
My family does not get to visit often, as we live several hours away. The problem is that Mom and Dad send all of the family update e-mails, which contain way too much detail about Grama's bowels, diaper changes, medications, etc.
I don't want to remember Grama from the perspective of a medical care recipient. I think this blabbing takes away from her dignity and that she would be embarrassed and upset knowing her personal information is disseminated in such a fashion.
I know my parents are avid readers of yours. I hope they will read this and mend their ways. On the off-chance that they don't see this in the paper, can you suggest a remedy? Grossed-Out Grandchild
Dear Grossed-Out: One of the reasons your parents are e-mailing this information is because it is a form of emotional support for them. They are sharing their burden with people who love Grama, and who will step in and help, if need be. However, they shouldn't force it on you.
Tell your parents that you love Grama and want to know how she's doing, but you cannot handle all the details about her medical status. Ask them to please stop sending you these specific missives. If they keep doing it, feel free to delete the e-mails as soon as you see where they are headed.
Dear Annie: I read the letter from "Indiana," the man who likes to wear pantyhose. Shame on you for insinuating that most men who wear pantyhose are cross-dressers. I used to work at a large hospital, and many of the male nurses, orderlies and some doctors wore stockings under their scrub uniforms for support.
Not only do your legs feel better at the end of a long day on your feet, they also aid in helping to reduce swelling in the feet and ankles and ward off varicose veins. I believe NFL star Joe Namath wore pantyhose during practice and games for the same reason. I do not consider any male who wears pantyhose a cross-dresser.
I say to "Indiana," if you are more comfortable with them on, it does not matter what anyone else thinks. They are your legs. Conservative South Dakotan
Dear S.D.: First, let's clear up the Joe Namath myth. He never said he wore pantyhose during games and practices. He appeared in an ad extolling their ability to make your legs look good.
We don't give a rat's patoot what you wear under your clothes, and we know there are some men who wear pantyhose for support. But the reason pantyhose reduce swelling is because they are binding. Standard nylon pantyhose are not something a woman wears for comfort, but if you like them, gei gezundter heyt (go in good health).
Dear Annie: I read the letter from "Hygienic Worker in Canada," who said a guy at work wore the same shirt 18 days in a row. She has nothing better to do at work than watch what other people are wearing? Maybe he washes that shirt every night. Maybe he has a dozen just like it. Maybe he's in financial straits and lost everything except "the shirt on his back."
I live in a building of 200 apartments. There was one lady who wore the same sweat suit every day. Then I happened to see her doing laundry. She was washing countless copies of the same outfit. Jacksonville, Fla.
Dear Jacksonville: You weren't the only one who suggested the co-worker had more than one of those shirts, and if it didn't smell, it was no one else's business.
XE-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@com-cast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox™, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, Ill. 60611.
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