Families can avoid chaos with structure, planning

People often don't realize how structured children's lives are during school.
By ED RUNYAN
VINDICATOR TRUMBULL STAFF
WARREN -- With the holidays come time off from school and more potential for conflict between kids and their parents.
One local mental health counselor says giving some structure to a young person's day can greatly improve chances of the child having a good and happy vacation.
For parents who will be home with their kids, it is important to plan time with the children, to plan events and to structure the children's time enough so they have things to anticipate, said Ed Dyer, clinical director for Community Solutions of Warren, which provides mental health counseling.
Even planning for lunch and dinner helps.
"You don't realize how structured a student's day is until they are not in school," Dyer said.
"When kids have unstructured time, things tend to get chaotic. As much as you'd just like to move through your day, we have to structure the time a little bit," he said.
If friends are coming over, plan for them to be in a different room from the adults, he suggests.
Open communication
Planning is also a key for kids who will be home without parental supervision, he said.
Discuss ahead of time what each day will be like. For instance, parents and children should discuss trips to visit friends.
Parents should arrange to call the child at a certain time. Limits should be placed on the amount of time a child can talk on the phone or use the Internet, he added.
He noted that Christmas break can present additional challenges because middle school or high school students often get clothes or other things they want to show off, and oftentimes they underestimate how much time they will spend at friends' houses or how many friends they will want to visit.
It's a good idea for parents to insist that the child call parents if they are leaving home so that communication stays open, he said. Have a family member or friend check on the children periodically if possible.
Dyer said 13 is the generally accepted age when it is OK for kids to be home without parental supervision.
Parents who want more help are encouraged to call Mahoning County's 211 Help Hotline or Contact Trumbull County at (330) 393-1565.