Top notes, quotes & amp; anecdotes

My chances of becoming mayor of Coldwater, Ohio, took a slight hit two weeks ago.
Five days before the Division IV state final, I wrote a column quoting Coldwater football coach John Reed being critical of parochial schools -- specifically, Mooney -- in a statewide news teleconference leading up to that weekend's game. I wrote that I didn't necessarily have a problem with what Reed said, I just questioned the timing of the comments, particularly since he knew they'd get back to Mooney.
Hoo-boy, was this unpopular. If you polled northwest Ohio football fans, I'd have finished fourth in a popularity contest between synthetic back hair, mousetrap underwear and earwax-flavored jelly beans.
(That last one actually exists. Really.)
I've never gotten so many e-mails from something I've written. (My favorite had a subject line that read, "You suck." And that was the nicest thing he wrote.) A few readers agreed with me, a few more (especially the ones in Coldwater) disagreed with me and a few wanted me to know they hate all my stories.
And you know what? I loved it. All of it.
The funny thing is, I wrote 14 stories about high school football between Monday and Saturday that week. That column was the only one to get a response. The funnier thing is that writing columns is about .01 percent of what I do each year, yet it generates about 90 percent of the responses.
And the funniest thing is, I'm sure it ultimately had no effect on the game. Newspaper stories never do (in my opinion, anyway). They're fun to write, they're fun to read (we hope), but in the end, they get thrown away or used to housetrain Cocker Spaniel puppies.
So my advice is this: Don't let the newspaper ruin your day ... but don't be afraid to let it brighten your day, either.
And, above all, don't bother trying to housetrain Cocker Spaniels. Buy a Labrador instead.
Fall awards forplayers and coaches
Player of the year: Angelo Babbaro, Canfield. Do I think the Cardinals would have won a state title had he not gotten injured? Yes I do. Does that make you feel better? No it doesn't. Honorable mention: Kyle Banna, Canfield; Nate Burney, Mooney.
Coach of the year: Mike Pavlansky, Canfield. He took a promising team and (with a lot of help from his assistants) turned it into the best team in school history. Honorable mention: Dan Yeagley, South Range (first state semifinal berth in school history); Brian Shaner, Rayen (first City title since 1989); Jim Parry, Mathews (first playoff berth in school history).
Five favorite athletes to watch: Babbaro; Mooney quarterback Derrell Johnson; Salem kicker Bryan Wright (I saw him make a 57-yarder that would have been good from 60); Ursuline tennis player Kim Ezzo and Maplewood runner Andy Arnio.
Five I wish I'd seen, but didn't: Howland running back Lance Smith; Warren JFK running back Anthony Elzy; Columbiana quarterback Mike Welce; and Canfield tennis players Rachel McGowan and Renee Lesnett.
Five favorite athletes to interview: Smith; Canfield linebacker Joe Rosko; Maplewood runner Andy Morgan (one of the all-time best); Mooney defensive back Desmond Marrow; Rayen senior Dwayne Smith.
Five favorite coaches to interview: Maplewood cross country coach Ted Rupe (I don't think people quite realize what a tremendous job Ted and Chris Rupe do at Maplewood and McDonald every year); Boardman football coach D.J. Ogilvie; Brookfield football coach Randy Clark; Mathews volleyball coach Lena Dascenzo; Canfield tennis coach Pat Pavlansky.
Other randomfall awards
Best game I saw this year: Canfield's state semifinal win over Tallmadge. I would pay money to see those two teams play again.
Best band I saw this year: Poland, although I should note that I didn't see (or hear) Boardman, which usually wins this award.
Five favorite band songs (in no particular order): Brookfield's "Are you gonna be my girl?"; Lowellville's "I want Candy" and "Stacy's mom (has got it going on)"; South Range's "Shake your groove thing" and the Salem and Hubbard renditions of "Script Ohio." (One quick note to band directors: Please do not make your band members dance. Please.)
Best concession stand: No contest. Lowellville's Hard Rocket Cafe. Here's just a few of the things they offer: Wedding soup (that has so many ingredients you could eat it with a fork), cavatelli (with meatball), chicken parmasean sandwich, hot sausage sandwich, meatball sub, roast beef sandwich, pizza, french fries and a pepperoni roll. As I was eating, I looked over at WFMJ's Dana Balash and said, "I'm full, but I know that if I stop eating, I'll regret it."
Best T-shirt: Struthers: "Some people don't have the guts for distance running. The polite term for them is 'sprinters.'" The funny thing is, Struthers has had the area's best collection of sprinters the past two years.
Worst T-shirt: "Runners are like biscuits. When things heat up, they rise to the occasion." This, kids, is what's known as scraping the bottom of the inspirational shirt barrel.
Dumbest question: Following a 7-3 loss to Canfield in which his team held the Cardinals to zero first downs in the second half, a reporter (not from this paper) asked Columbus Watterson coach Dan Bjelac, "Do you think your defense wore down in the second half?" His answer? "Well, since we didn't give up a first down, I'd have to say no."
Best fans: Canfield. Outstanding student section this season.
Worst fan: For the second straight year, I saw a Hudson man at the regional cross country meet walking around with a Shih Tzu that was dressed in a navy blue Hudson banner. (His wife was standing next to him with an identical dog.)
I would comment further, but I can't think of anything that wouldn't get me sued.
Five quotesI loved the most
* Minutes before a Chaney-Rayen football game, Steel Valley Conference commissioner Mike Butch heard the song "Come on Ride the Train" playing over the loudspeaker. "You believe this music?" he said. "I'm glad I didn't wear my hearing aid."
(I agree. That song, along with "Crazy Train" and "Eye of the Tiger" needs to be retired. But will it happen? Noooooo.)
* Minutes after his team qualified for the state cross country meet, McDonald girls cross country coach Michael Richards reminded me that I had described him as "follically-challenged" in a story the year before. "I actually thought about getting a hairpiece this year," he said. "At least I'll go bald before I go gray."
(McDonald's girls, by the way, are consistently hilarious. I actually avoid interviewing them too much because they tend to dominate the story. To wit: Before this year's regional meet, they wrote down their goals on a card, gathered in a circle and spit on the card. They also wrote down the names of their competitors on little pieces of paper and flushed them down the toilet. Talking to them makes up for having listen to a million quotes like, "We need to control the line of scrimmage.")
* "I've been taking a lot of Dramamine," Hubbard football coach Jeff Bayuk said after a 13-0 win over Lakeview. "Maybe I can put it away after the way these guys played tonight."
* Mathews coach Jim Parry won seven games this year but the biggest was the first. The Mustangs rallied from a touchdown deficit late in the fourth quarter against Western Reserve to tie the game, eventually winning in overtime. A lot of Mathews fans left before the rally, including Parry's father. "When your own dad leaves," he said, chuckling, "the game has pretty much been written off."
* I saved the best for last. After a 28-20 win over St. Thomas Aquinas, Warren JFK coach Tony Napolet had this to say about his defense: "Our defense stinks; we can't stop anybody. The only reason we're 7-1 is that we're outscoring everyone."
The funniest thing about this quote? The Eagles won because they stopped the Knights on a goal-line stand as time expired.
XJoe Scalzo covers high school sports for The Vindicator. Write to him at scalzo@vindy.com.