Herbal treatment alone may not be adequate

Dear Annie: My mom always has incorporated herbs and other natural resources into her diet and also has used them for medicinal purposes, in addition to regular medicine.
Recently, Mom has become convinced that a new herbal product someone gave her is a cure-all for everything from nosebleeds to depression. I became concerned when she diagnosed herself with skin cancer. Mom has a growth on her skin that looks very similar to a condition both her mother and her aunt had. Doctors diagnosed those growths as cancerous and subsequently removed them.
Mom seems to have completely given up on health care professionals and is determined that she can cure herself of this skin cancer using her herbal treatment. I don't disagree that she may have discovered something beneficial, but I also feel it is important to have this growth checked by a trained professional.
My husband, who is in medical school, also feels very strongly that Mom should go to a doctor and has tried explaining why it's important. Mom got upset with him and defended her position.
How do I convince her to go to a doctor and get treatment for what could be very treatable, but has the potential to be very damaging if she doesn't take care of it properly? Concerned Daughter
Dear Concerned: Your mother is afraid of what a doctor might tell her and what could happen, so she has put all her faith into herbal treatments. Regardless of what Mom thinks this natural product will do for her, she should agree to see a doctor as her back-up position.
Some skin cancers are slow-growing, but others are deadly. Tell Mom you understand her position but are worried about her. Ask her to set a deadline for this product to work -- say, two weeks -- and if there is no positive result, she will then see her doctor. That's the best you can do. The rest is up to your mother.
Dear Annie: I am so tired of people asking me if my 14-year-old daughter has had her period yet. You would not believe how many relatives and friends want to know this information. I always tell them the answer and then get so mad at myself.
This strikes me as a very private, personal question, and pretty much my daughter's business only. I've never asked others about their daughters and always have been uncomfortable when they've freely given this "info" to me. I don't want to tell them to ask my daughter. How do I respond to such rudeness? Mom of Two
Dear Mom: Lots of mothers don't mind sharing this information, but we can only imagine how your daughter would feel knowing half the neighborhood is aware of the particulars of her menstrual cycle. Since you have a tendency to blurt out the information, we suggest you practice this sentence: "My daughter would be furious if she knew I discussed this with you, and I want to respect her privacy. Sorry." Repeat.
Dear Annie: My daughter is a critical-care nurse at a hospital in Indiana. Along with treating those who are in very bad shape from accidents and other traumas, she also has many elderly patients.
She often requests that family members bring in pictures of the patients to put around the room, so they can see themselves in better times. It not only brightens up the room, but it helps cheer up the family.
Most of the time, people see an elderly patient lying in a bed and never give a thought to what his or her life used to be. Putting their pictures around the room makes a person out of them for the family, nurses and staff. D.A.
Dear D.A.: Thanks for the compassionate and useful suggestion. We hope our readers will keep it in mind.
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