KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR \ Annie's Mailbox 'Serena's' behavior is a slap in her father's face

Dear Heloise: Eight years ago, I married a wonderful lady. At the time, I was a widower with two children. Both kids are now in their late 30s. My son is fine with his new stepmother, but my daughter, "Serena," did not want me to get married and always has treated my wife with indifference.
Thank heavens we live 800 miles apart, but whenever Serena visits, she always asks me to go out for dinner or shopping, and will not include my wife. When my wife and I spend time at our vacation home (which is not far from Serena's house), my daughter never asks us to stop by. When we drove to my grandson's college graduation last June, we stayed in a hotel for three days and were invited only to the reception -- and Serena made it clear that the party was over at 6 p.m. We left promptly without so much as a hug -- just a "goodbye, and have a safe trip."
Serena also has insisted that I give her all my antiques and valuables so my wife will not get them if anything happens to me. While my wife received a Mother's Day card from Serena last May for the first time, she was ignored on her birthday, as usual. I am fed up with Serena's treatment and am ready to write her out of my will, because that is what is most important to her. To treat my wife like this is a slap in the face to me. What would you do? I've had it. A Troubled Father
Dear Troubled: We know this must seem like eight years of disrespect to you, but please look again. Serena sent a Mother's Day card. This is quite a major leap, and you should be encouraged by it.
It takes some children a very long time to accept a parent's new spouse. It sounds as if Serena, while not exactly warm and friendly, is polite and civil, which is sometimes the most you can expect. Instead of making demands, tell Serena how much your wife (and you) appreciate it whenever she does something kind. We are hoping that she eventually will come to understand why you love your wife so much.
Dear Annie: I had to write about your response to "Wondering Parents," whose son was living in their converted garage. You said they could charge him as much as $500 in rent each month. That is ridiculous.
I'm 24 years old, and I live at my parents' house. If they made me pay that much, there would be no reason to stay here. I pay $100 so I can save the rest. Forcing your own son or daughter to pay more than $200 a month is absolutely absurd. Need the Money Myself
Dear Need: Parents can charge as little as they please, but the amount paid in rent should depend on the amount earned in salary. If you are paying $100 a month, we assume your job isn't providing much. We also assume you do your own laundry, clean your room and help with meals.
The reason your parents let you stay is because they also want you to save money, but it is an act of love and generosity on their part. "Wondering's" son pays nothing, does no laundry, doesn't clean up after himself, Mom cooks his food and even buys his clothes, while he spends his cash on tattoos and beer. Give us a break.
Dear Annie: Before we were married, my wife and I talked about having children, which I do not ever want. She said she felt the same way. Now that we are married, however, she says she's reconsidered and expects me to follow suit. I don't see why I must have children I don't want. Please advise! Sandusky
Dear Sandusky: Having children is a make-or-break issue in a marriage. Talk to a counselor and work it out, or, we're sorry to say, the marriage is likely to be over.
XE-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox™, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, Ill. 60611.
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