SUNDAY

SUNDAY
"BOSTON LEGAL" (10 p.m., ABC, Oct. 3): Drama. James Spader and William Shatner star in this spinoff series from "The Practice."
Shirley: "Why bother with this one? 'The Practice' lost its edge years ago. Doubt this one will last much beyond one season."
Robert: "Why would ABC give a spinoff to a show that has teetered near cancellation for years because of mediocre ratings? No chance for a second season."
"JACK & amp; BOBBY" (9 p.m., WB). Drama. Jack and Bobby McCallister are two young brothers growing up, one who will be president of the United States.
Shirley: "After viewing, and thoroughly enjoying, the first two episodes, I believe this show will follow in the footsteps of other WB dramas ['Everwood' and 'One Tree Hill'] as a standout this season."
Robert: "This series has been critically praised, which to me means canceled. Sorry, I'm still bitter about some of the truly good shows that weren't watched -- like 'Boomtown' or 'Freaks and Geeks.'"
"DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES" (9 p.m., ABC, Oct. 3). Drama. Terri Hatcher stars in this prime-time soap about suburbia.
Shirley: "I wouldn't miss this one for anything. I may tune in only once, but I'm still tuning in."
Robert: "ABC is so desperate for anyone to tune in, they'll name their shows like spam e-mail, hoping people's curiosity will lead them to watch. So sorry."
"THE PARTNER" (9 p.m., Fox, Nov. 7). Reality show. Law school graduates battle for a job at a major law firm.
Shirley: "I have no intentions of even tuning in to this one. This one may be canceled before it even airs."
Robert: "Maybe former time-slot occupant Fox Mulder should investigate what alien force has taken over programming at Fox. Guilty of bad concept. Will be canceled."
MONDAY
"LAX" (10 p.m., NBC) Drama. Heather Locklear and Blair Underwood run the Los Angeles airport.
Shirley: "Nothing about this show interests me. Not even Heather Locklear is going to save this one."
Robert: "I wouldn't watch this show even if Heather Locklear ran this airport wearing a bikini. Well, maybe then ... no, probably not. This will be canceled."
"THE BENEFACTOR" (8 p.m., ABC) Reality show. Billionaire businessman and Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban gets ready to give away a million bucks to a stranger.
Shirley: "Whoever came up with this one needs to be fired. I tuned in to the first episode, watched the introduction and then changed the channel. I could take only about two minutes of Mark Cuban. Whoever wins the money deserves it for putting up with Cuban for that long. This show will be canceled."
Robert: "Guess what? I don't care. Cancel it."
"LISTEN UP" (8:30 p.m., CBS) Comedy. Jason Alexander stars as a well-regarded sports talk-show host who struggles to get the respect and admiration from his family that he gets from his fans. Also stars Malcolm-Jamal Warner.
Shirley: "I can't stand to watch even the previews of this show. I say the most we see of this series is two or three episodes. I hope they do us all a favor and cancel it now."
Robert: "How can you call it 'the Seinfeld curse'? The actors who starred in 'Seinfeld,' Jason Alexander, Michael Richards and Julia Louis-Dreyfus, all have short-lived series because of poor choices, not some voodoo hex. Watch for 'Yes, Dear' to return to the lineup quickly to replace this show."
"RENOVATE MY FAMILY" (9 p.m., Fox, Mon.) Reality show. Jay McGraw, whose father is Dr. Phil McGraw, hosts a life-improvement show for families.
Shirley: "Are they kidding? What exactly does 'a life-improvement show' mean? To be honest, I really don't care. This show will be gone."
Robert: "According to Dr. Phil, 'Failure is no accident.' Hope his son doesn't take his father's statement too personally. Will be canceled."
TUESDAY
"THE CONTENDER" (8 p.m., NBC, November) Reality show. Sylvester Stallone and Sugar Ray Robinson follow 16 aspiring boxers from training camp to actual boxing matches -- with the final victor claiming $1 million.
Shirley: "I'm a sports fan and I'm not interested in this show. Let it be gone. Soon."
Robert: "Boxing? No way. No how. Cancel it."
"REBEL BILLIONAIRE: BRANSON'S QUEST FOR THE BEST" (8 p.m., Fox, Nov. 9) Reality show. The founder and chairman of the Virgin Group of Companies, Sir Richard Branson, leads a group of young entrepreneurs on an epic journey and adventures.
Shirley: "Does anyone even know what this show is about? Does anyone care? I didn't think so. It's gone."
Robert: "Even the Fox Web site doesn't give any real description of what this show will be about besides biggest stunts and biggest prizes. Bye-bye."
"FATHER OF THE PRIDE" (9 p.m., NBC, Tues.) Animated show about Siegfried and Roy's (former) Las Vegas animal act.
Shirley: "I had trouble staying tuned in to the first commercial-free episode. I wasn't amused -- at all. I won't be tuning in again."
Robert: "Someone should have euthanized this show before it got off the drawing board. Even Cartoon Network won't want this one."
"CLUBHOUSE" (9 p.m., CBS, Sept. 28) Tales of a teenage major league bat boy, Dean Cain as the star player and Christopher Lloyd as the team manager.
Shirley: "I think this one looks worthwhile. I'll tune in -- even if it is just to see Dean Cain in a baseball uniform."
Robert: "Baseball movies usually do well; baseball series always strike out."
"HOUSE" (9 p.m., Fox, Nov. 16) Dr. Greg House and his team of medical experts figure out medical mysteries.
Shirley: "Medical experts figure out medical mysteries? Well, what else would they figure out? Enough with medical mysteries already. Let's hope this one never airs."
Robert: "Stupid title. But 'Crime Scene Investigators' and 'Medical Investigations' were already taken. Will be canceled."
"THE NEXT GREAT CHAMP" (9 p.m. Fox) Reality show.
Shirley: "Who approved this show? And why? What makes them think boxing is a good idea for a reality show? They should cancel it now."
Robert: "No Round Two for this show."
"RODNEY" (9:30 p.m., ABC) Standup comedian Rodney Carrington stars as Rodney Hamilton, a down-to-earth guy, blue-collar worker whose life revolves around his wife and kids.
Shirley: "Hasn't this theme been done [and overdone] already? I think so -- several times. This one won't make it. We're tired of watching unfunny families."
Robert: "Does ABC really need another loud-mouth husband, wife and kids sitcom? No. Will be canceled."
WEDNESDAY
"CSI: NY" (10 p.m., CBS) Drama. Gary Sinise and Melina Kanakaredes star in this latest CSI spinoff.
Shirley: "As predicted, this show is very good. It's going to be around for a while."
Robert: "Will 'CSI' actually hurt the long-running 'Law & amp; Order' on NBC? I think it might. Will be a hit. Note to CBS: No more. Enough. All these 'CSI' shows are all the same."
"HAWAII" (8 p.m., NBC, Wed.) Drama. Honolulu's Metro Police Department solve crimes all over the island.
Shirley: "I watched the first episode. I don't think anyone else did. This one will be canceled."
Robert: "Aloha [as in goodbye]. Will be canceled."
"LOST" (8 p.m., ABC) Drama. Survivors of a plane crash are stranded an island.
Shirley: "I predict this one will be around for a little while at least. It's a new angle for a drama that I think people will like and keep coming back to."
Robert: "What's this? Something besides cops, doctors or medical examiners? I'll watch this. This will survive."
"THE MOUNTAIN" (9 p.m., WB) Drama. Family tries to maintain its ski lodge after the father dies.
Shirley: "Yet another WB drama aimed at the teenage audience? I'm not sure if this one will make it."
Robert: "This series can at least have an interesting demise. An avalanche crushes the ski resort. Canceled."
"CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE" (9:30 p.m., CBS, Sept. 29) Comedy. An eccentric extended family lives under one roof.
Shirley: "Does John Goodman really need to be on two new shows this season ['Father of the Pride' and this one]? I think not. And I don't think either will make it."
Robert: "Strike two [first is NBC's 'Pride'] for Goodman this season. Yet one more loud father, wife and kids sitcom. Canceled."
"WIFE SWAP" (10 p.m., ABC, Sept. 29) Reality show.
Shirley: "They couldn't pay me to watch this one. It'll be gone before the end of the year."
Robert: "Same comment as for 'Desperate Housewives.' Title looks like bad spam e-mail. Will be canceled."
THURSDAY
"JOEY" (8 p.m., NBC, Sept. 9) Comedy. "Friends" spinoff.
Shirley: "I watched the series premiere, but I didn't laugh [out loud] once. I'm hoping for the best. There's been too much hype about this show for it to be canceled. It'll be around for at least a little while."
Robert: "I think Joey had better find some new friends in LA or ratings will start to drop. If his show gets moved to Tuesdays [to fill 'Pride's' slot] it's all over for Joey. I think NBC will give it two years to develop. Hit."
"DREW CAREY'S GREEN SCREEN" (8:30 p.m., WB) Improvisational comedy with animation.
Shirley: "Drew really doesn't need another show. I say bring back 'Whose Line.'"
Robert: "I say don't bring back 'Whose Line' or 'Drew Carey.' Just go away. Canceled."
"LIFE AS WE KNOW IT" (9 p.m., ABC, Oct. 7) A coming-of-age story about the pressures of growing up.
Shirley: "Reminds me a lot of 'My So-Called Life,' which also didn't make it."
Robert: "While it looks like a good show, it doesn't stand a chance against 'CSI' and 'The Apprentice.' Will be canceled."
FRIDAY
"DR. VEGAS" (10 p.m., CBS) Rob Lowe stars as an in-house doctor at a casino in Las Vegas.
Shirley: "Rob Lowe has been having the worst luck since leaving 'The West Wing.' This time slot is the kiss of death. This show will not last."
Robert: "Leaving Las Vegas. Will be canceled."
"THE COMPLEX: MALIBU" (8 p.m., Fox, Fri.) Reality. Teams compete on renovating an apartment complex. The best designs wins the building.
Shirley: "Enough already. I really don't care who redecorates the best and wins the complex. Please, cancel it."
Robert: "Why would anyone watch this? Now, if they demolished each other's apartments, I might watch. Canceled."
"COMPLETE SAVAGES" (8:30 p.m., ABC, Sept. 24) A single father tries to raise five boys.
Shirley: "Mel Gibson should stick to the movies. This show is gone."
Robert: "Mel Gibson is executive producer and directs the first episode. He should pray for this show. Will be canceled."
"COMMANDO NANNY" (8:30 p.m., WB) A tycoon hires a commando to watch his kids.
Shirley: "Why would anyone hire a commando to watch his kids? Sounds stupid. It's gone."
Robert: "This show's premiere has been delayed because of Gerald McRaney's recent health problems. Not a good sign. Canceled."
"MEDICAL INVESTIGATION" (10 p.m., NBC) A mobile team of medical experts solve illness mysteries.
Shirley: "To my surprise, I enjoyed the series premiere of this show. However, this time slot isn't the greatest. But if 'Crossing Jordan' can last for a full season, so can this show."
Robert: "The only reason this show will survive is because there is nothing else on. Will last the season with mediocre ratings."