Grandma will simply have to wait, just like everyone else



Dear Annie: My husband and I are expecting our first child. I am starting my second trimester, and we have decided to wait until the baby is born to learn if it's a boy or a girl.
My mother wrote to me the other day, asking if my doctor could e-mail her with the information about the baby's sex after we have our ultrasound. She says this will help her relate to her grandchild and make it easier to shop before the birth.
My husband and I think this is an odd request. Why on earth would we allow someone else in our family to know the baby's gender before we find out ourselves? I politely told my mother that we will all find out together, the old-fashioned way.
Am I wrong to feel annoyed over Mom's request? Is this some kind of control issue? Still Waiting in Kansas
Dear Kansas: Try not to make too much out of this. Your mother is eager and curious, and she wants to pick out clothes in pink or blue. Since you have elected not to know the baby's sex in advance, however, your mother should respect your wish to be surprised and stop asking for more information than she is entitled to. Tell her she'll just have to wait, like everyone else.
Dear Annie: Eating dinner together as a family is a simple event, but it can make a world of difference for children and teens. The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) at Columbia University has consistently found that the more often children eat dinner with their families, the less likely they are to smoke, drink or use illegal drugs.
Created in 2001 as a direct result of CASA's research, "Family Day -- A Day to Eat Dinner With Your Children" is a national effort to promote parental engagement in children's lives as a simple, effective tool to help reduce substance abuse among children and teens and raise healthier children. Family Day is celebrated on the fourth Monday of each September. This year, it is Sept. 27.
As difficult as it sometimes may be, making time for family dinners is worth the effort. Joseph A. Califano, Chairman and President, The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University
Dear Joseph Califano: We are pleased, once again, to mention Family Day and encourage our readers to eat dinner together tomorrow night. It doesn't have to be fancy. Get the whole family involved in the planning and preparation. Sit down together, talk to one another (no TV), and share your day. Serve a special dessert to make it memorable. For more suggestions, check out www.CASAFamilyDay.org. Bon app & eacute;tit!
Dear Annie: My good friend and I have daughters who are the same age (9) and are in school together. The trouble is, my daughter, "Amy," doesn't like "Cora," and does not want to spend time with her. It is especially awkward when Amy's birthday comes around and she doesn't want to invite Cora to her party.
So far, I have been forcing Amy to invite Cora, but she is not happy about it. I know I can't keep doing this. What do I do? British Columbia
Dear B.C.: You have an opportunity to teach compassion to Amy. Keep encouraging her to include Cora at her parties, although the two of them do not otherwise have to socialize. Explain to Amy that, as she gets older, she and Cora will naturally go their separate ways, but it is unkind and hurtful at this time to exclude the girl from major social events when she knows Cora is aware of them.
XE-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@com-cast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox™, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, Ill. 60611.
Creators Syndicate
Copyright 2004 Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

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