Annie's Mailbox Daughter learned that life isn't fair

Dear Annie: My daughter, a high school senior, returned a book last May, at the end of her junior year. While the book had her name inside, the bar code on the book said it actually belonged to her locker mate, "Renee."
Apparently, the books were accidentally switched.
Unfortunately, Renee feels no obligation to turn in my daughter's book and says she no longer has it.
Renee's mother searched for the book at home but didn't find it.
Within the first three weeks after school, a $10 fine had been imposed, and the remaining $83 charge was turned over to a collection agency.
I wrote a letter of appeal to the principal, but he was away for the summer.
The school district's position is that they do not get involved in matters between students.
I had to pay the charge because otherwise my excellent credit record would be tarnished, and my daughter would have been dropped from her schedule of classes and forced to re-enroll. If the classes she wanted were full, it could have interfered with graduation.
She also would have been barred from senior activities throughout this coming year.
Obviously, I had no choice.
This week I am taking a day off work to look through 500 books for the one that has Renee's signature on the inside. If I can find it, the school will refund my money (although not the fine). I think we are being unfairly punished, and all these punitive measures smack of extortion. What do you think? Modesto, Calif., Mom
Dear Mom: Your daughter has learned two valuable lessons: A person is responsible for her own things, and life isn't fair. Although it would have been nice if the administration had been more understanding, the school is not at fault here. If you cannot find your daughter's book, you should ask Renee (or her mother) to reimburse you for the cost or, as a compromise, split the difference. It's time Renee learned a lesson about responsibility, too.
Dear Annie: My husband is forever correcting me publicly and privately. Not only does he correct, but he keeps making comments about it to embarrass me. Now that my children are older, they act just like my husband. They all think it is funny to humiliate me this way.
I can't seem to get it through their thick heads that these comments are hurtful and no one is perfect. This has become such a source of anxiety for me that I don't say much around my family, and I rarely visit my children and grandchildren because I can't handle the criticism anymore. How can I get them to stop? Please, No Names
Dear No Names: What a charming family you have. The need to humiliate you through constant criticism allows them to feel superior. Call them on it. Tell them their comments are hurtful and abusive, and if they cannot control their hostility, you will remove yourself from the premises -- which you already are doing.
The difference, however, is attitude. You are hiding. Hold your head up, honey. It's their character flaw, not yours. You deserve to be treated with respect.
Dear Annie: I am a spry 77-year-old widow. My male friend, "Lewis," is 73. His wife has Alzheimer's and has been in a nursing home for over a year. He is devastated and lonely, and would like to take me out for dinner and a movie.
I would very much like to go, but I feel uncomfortable because Lewis is a married man. I'm also concerned about what my friends will think. Florida Widow
Dear Florida: As long as Lewis continues to visit and take care of his wife's needs, there is nothing wrong with dinner and a movie with a good friend. Have fun.
XE-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@com-cast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox™, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, Ill. 60611.
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