KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR \ Annie's Mailbox Wild hormones are probably causing her dreams

Dear Annie: I am six months pregnant. For the last several weeks, I've been having vivid dreams that my husband is cheating on me. These dreams create terrible anxiety and loss of sleep. I wake up crying, feeling hurt and angry at my husband.
These feelings are so strong that I even snooped around my husband's stuff to see if I could find anything incriminating, but there was nothing. I tried to bring up the subject with him, but was too embarrassed to admit I'd been having these dreams, and the conversation sounded more like an inquisition. He became very uneasy, which in turn made me paranoid that he was hiding something.
When my husband and I were dating, I had a flirtation with someone I worked with, although sex was never involved. When I confessed, my husband was crushed, but we worked through it. I have never done anything like that since. Are these dreams unresolved guilt from that episode, or are they just from pregnancy hormones?
I worry that the stress and lack of sleep is bad for the baby. I would ask my doctor, but my husband loves to attend all my appointments with me. I can't tell my friends because they are liable to let it slip out. Any suggestions? Stressed in New York
Dear Stressed: Unless your husband has given you cause to suspect him, it's very likely the vivid dreams are a result of your hormones running wild. When you wake up, you need to take a deep breath, absolve your husband of guilt, and remember why you love him. You also should tell him about the dreams. This pregnancy involves both of you, and he deserves to know why you are so stressed. Once Hubby is aware of the dreams, you can discuss them openly with your doctor.
Dear Annie: When should an adult begin to eat like an adult? My husband and I are in a monthly gourmet group with several other couples. Each couple takes a turn as host, cooking the main dish, and the others bring the side dishes.
One man in this group is extremely picky about what he likes and dislikes, to the point where we have had to alter our menu items to accommodate him. "Jim" absolutely will not eat fresh fish, no matter what kind or how it is prepared, because he likes only frozen fish sticks. And forget vegetables. His mother served canned vegetables in all their mushy, bland glory, and he refuses to try fresh ones. He won't touch sushi, calling it "bait." One time, he couldn't find a single item to eat, and ended up with pizza and macaroni and cheese that had been made for the children.
I guess what gets my goat is that Jim is unwilling to try new things. It's like his taste buds stalled in the fifth grade. Why should the rest of us cave in to his eating preferences? Don't you think he should grow up a little? Adventuresome Foodie
Dear Foodie: It's unfortunate Jim is so unwilling to experiment, but obviously, the thought scares him to death. A gourmet group is wasted on him. The rest of you should not be held hostage by Jim's underdeveloped gastronomy. Give him a menu in advance, and let him know if he doesn't like what's being served, he is welcome to bring his own dish or share the children's meal.
Dear Annie: My husband promised his parents that we would visit them on our vacation this year. We did this on our last vacation two years ago. Annie, this is no vacation for me. I help cook and clean, and watch television programs I don't like.
I love his folks to pieces, but I work long hours, and I'm tired. I'd like a housework-free, relaxing vacation. Any suggestions? Worn Out in Waco, Texas
Dear Waco: Is this the only time you see his parents? If so, can you vacation nearby, close enough to drop in and say hello, while staying elsewhere so you can recharge your batteries? Try it, and next year, insist on a real vacation.
Creators Syndicate