TV DRAMA Despite inclusion of Locklear, NBC's turbulent 'LAX' just drags

Will this drama last long enough for viewers to find out what happens?
By MARK WASHBURN
KNIGHT RIDDER NEWSPAPERS
"LAX" lacks:
UA single believable character, and that includes the dog.
UEven a wisp of realism.
UAny resemblance to airports of your acquaintance.
"LAX" has:
UHeather Locklear.
But even she can't deliver enough lift to overcome the drag in this NBC drama.
Before the credits are done rolling in tonight's episode, the chief poobah administrator of Los Angeles International Airport steps onto the runway and bids a jumbo jet to hit him. It does.
And you'll envy him. He doesn't have to stick around for the rest of the show.
Next we meet Heather Locklear of "Melrose Place" fame, who plays Harley Random, slinking into work in last night's low-cut party gown. It's inappropriate work apparel, so she slips into something more professional, a low-cut blouse.
Next we meet Blair Underwood, recently of "Sex and the City," who plays Roger De Souza. Harley and Roger are:
UProfessional rivals.
UPanting sexpots.
Roger is in charge of everything within the walls of the airport. Harley is in charge of everything outside. They bicker like 8-year-olds. Each wants to be the next chief poobah administrator.
Crises abound
Things are going full-throttle around the airport. Missing from the cockpit of the Serb Air jetliner is the pilots. A kid has arrived with no parent to meet her. A dog escapes from a critter carrier and bumbling baggage guys go in pursuit.
A penniless woman arrives from the Philippines, looking for the guy she met who said he loved her. An Immigration officer falls for her.
Then the mayor arrives. He's going to choose between Harley and Roger for the next chief airport poobah.
But Harley throws a hissy-fit since she's too busy to do the interview right now because right now the governor's advance party is landing on one of her runways and she's got to go out there and meet them or the moon will just absolutely tumble from the sky.
And she spins and exits, 3-inch heels aclick, having established her credentials as:
UMaster micro-manager.
UA 7.2 on the Whack Job seismograph.
For safety's sake
Meanwhile, the Serb Air pilots have found their plane, but they're drunk and engaging in sex banter with Harley on the radio. When the harried air traffic controller tells them they can't go on the runway, they say they're going to pick their own runway if he doesn't give them one.
So he does! In the name of safety!
He doesn't want the drunken pig Serbians bumping into any sober polite pilots flying in on the other runways. Wouldn't it just be more expeditious to turn the airport over to Osama bin Laden?
Harley halts the Serb party pilots, and the runaway dog winds up with an exploding suitcase and the mayor decides that he's not going to name an airport chief poobah because things seem to be running just fine as they are.
Having exhausted nearly every clich & eacute; airport crisis plot in the first episode, you must wonder what turbulence "LAX" has in store in the weeks ahead. If there are weeks ahead, that is, because the condition of this flight of fancy is terminal.