Annie's Mailbox She has reservations about 'Dean's' character

Dear Annie: I have a male friend, 35 years old, who recently took a trip with family. "Dean" told me that all of the kids -- three nieces, ages 5, 12 and 15, and a nephew, age 6, wanted to sleep with him in a king-sized bed. To remedy the situation, the kids rotated nights, each taking a turn sleeping with him.
I told Dean I considered it inappropriate for a 35-year-old man to sleep in the same bed as his teenage nieces. Also, Dean has made comments, jokingly (or so I thought), about young girls being "hot." He once said this about his cousin's 14-year-old daughter. He also told me all three of his nieces wanted to marry him when they were little girls, and the youngest draws pictures of them getting married.
Is this normal? I'm not accusing Dean of anything, but I'm wondering if he is some kind of pedophile. He seems to be a very nice man and has made romantic advances toward me. However, I don't see how I can continue our friendship when I have such strong reservations about his character. I would feel terrible if something happened to a child and I ignored the warning signs. I am Worried in Atlanta
Dear Atlanta: Dean should not be sharing a bed with his 12-year-old and 15-year-old nieces, although knowing his nieces and nephew were eager to sleep with him tends to indicate nothing disturbing is going on (yet). The fact that the 5-year-old draws pictures of him marrying her is no big deal. It is quite common for young girls to have crushes on their uncles or other relatives. It does bother us, however, that Dean thinks 14-year-old girls are "hot," although to be fair, some teenage girls dress to provoke such reactions.
Talk to Dean and explain your concerns about him sleeping with his teenage nieces. He sounds more like an oblivious uncle than a pedophile, but it won't hurt to let him know how his behavior appears to others and see what he says.
Dear Annie: My husband, "Jim," and I have been married a very short time, and his parents live next door to us. They are quite elderly now and need someone to be with them almost 24 hours a day. Jim is so stressed taking care of his folks that I am worried about his health. He has taken on an impossible task and refuses to consider putting his parents in a senior home.
I told Jim when we married that I would help out, and he promised I wouldn't have to take on more than I was willing, but that was then. Now, if I'm exhausted, I get a lecture on how little I do for him. I am trying to be supportive, but I am not a nurse and don't want to be. We have no time to ourselves. We never go anywhere or do anything together. I need help. Tired in Michigan
Dear Michigan: Here it is: Contact the Eldercare Locator at (800) 677-1116 (eldercare.gov), and the National Family Caregivers Association at (800) 896-3650 (nfcaca-res.org) for support and referrals. If you can afford it, you can enlist the assistance of a private care worker through the National Assn. of Professional Geriatric Care Managers (www.caremanager.org), 1604 N. Country Club Rd., Tucson, Ariz. 85716. Jim has taken on a worthwhile burden, but you cannot do it alone.
Dear Annie: You agreed with "Grand Ledge, Mich.," who said to use "fewer" for plural words and "less" for singular. Actually, fewer is used for things that can be counted (discrete variables) like cows, and less is used for things that are measured (continuous variables) like love, news or rain. Professor in Natchez, Miss.
Dear Professor: We thought "plural" and "singular" made it simpler, but now we know better. Our thanks to all the English majors, editors and language mavens who told us otherwise. We bow to your superior intellect.
Creators Syndicate