KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR \ Annie's Mailbox 'Jim's' behavior toward his nieces is inappropriate

Dear Annie: For the past 18 years, we have had to deal with our son-in-law, "Jim," who is married to our daughter, "Sharon." Jim is a womanizer, but Sharon is committed to her marriage for the children's sake and for financial reasons.
The real problem is that Jim is inappropriate with our granddaughters -- Sharon's nieces -- who live next door. He is making it especially hard on the 14-year-old. My granddaughter loves her Aunt Sharon, but feels uncomfortable in Jim's presence. He makes comments about her having a well-endowed figure and says things like, "I just love being alone with you." When she reminds him that he is her uncle, he says, "Well, we aren't blood kin."
We have advised our granddaughter to keep her distance, but she is afraid of Jim catching her alone. I know Jim reads the paper, so maybe he will see himself and get the hint without things going too far. A Florida Granny
Dear Granny: Even if Jim sees this, he will not change his behavior unless he is confronted. He is preying on those children. Make sure Sharon, as well as the children's parents, are aware of your granddaughter's accusations and Jim's behavior.
They should make it clear that if he doesn't stop, you or the parents will call the police and file a report about his sexual harassment of your underage grandchild and ask for a restraining order to keep him away from her.
Dear Annie: I am a huge fan of your column and would like to respond to "F/A in Toronto," the flight attendant who said a passenger clipped his nails while she served orange juice. I travel a lot. People seem to forget everyday courtesies the moment they walk through airport security. On a recent flight, the woman sitting next to me changed her baby's dirty diaper on the seat between us.
Please print these guidelines for our fellow travelers:
UDon't be afraid to use the washrooms on the plane. Teeth flossing, nail clipping, make-up application, nasal sprays, tweezing and changing diapers should be done in private. We don't want to watch you.
UBy all means, remove your shoes, but keep your feet on the ground. No one wants to smell them.
UTreat the people in the middle seat with respect. Don't grab both armrests.
UBe mindful that not everyone wants to be engaged in conversation. While you might be an interesting person, some of us prefer to work or sleep.
UIf you have children, please don't let your 4-year-old run up and down the aisle screaming. It's OK to tell your child to stop kicking the seats and making noise.
UPlease don't push when exiting the plane. This is aggravating and dangerous.
And to the flight attendants: We know how hard you work, but please, when you see people doing inappropriate things, help us out. Thanks. Ottawa, Ontario
Dear Ottawa: Thanks for your sensible suggestions. We hope they help.
Dear Annie: I was annoyed with the letter from "Had It with PC," who is delighted when waitresses call him "Hon" and "Dear." He says we should lighten up.
My mother is 84 years old. All her nurses at the assisted-living home call her "Sweetie" and "Hon," even though they know her name. It is condescending to treat a woman her age as though she were 3 years old and anonymous.
I'm 55 and hate when women 20 and 30 years younger call me "Hon." I notice these young women don't call each other by such names. Whatever happened to "Sir" and "Ma'am" when addressing strangers of an older generation? I Have a Name
Dear Name: Some people don't like those terms either, because it makes them feel old, but when in doubt, it's best to err on the side of politeness.
XE-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@com-cast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox™, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, Ill. 60611.
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