HOW HE SEES IT Baseball is war! So where are the plans?

By MIKE ARMSTRONG
LOS ANGELES TIMES
I'm still undecided. It's coming down to the wire. I'm weighing all my options. Which team should I back in the World Series?
Like so many Americans, I'm tired of the negativity. There's too much talk of "stealing bases," "stealing signs" and "stealing home." Both sides are obsessed with "hitting." And yet nobody stands up to denounce these tactics, which are ruining the discourse.
I want issues discussed that matter to me and my family, like the quality of hot dogs, wider seats, cheaper tickets and no more spitting. How can I be expected to support spitting? What kind of message does that send to the Germans and the French?
Then there are the same old tired clich & eacute;s.
"We're counting on our bullpen to hold them in the late innings." Tell me something I don't know! Be specific! Exactly what kind of pitches is your bullpen planning to throw? Do you have any new pitches or are you going to be relying on the same old fast balls, change-ups and sliders that we've seen in the past? And what about relief pitchers asked to throw gas? In this day and age, can't we come up with something a little more environmentally friendly?
I'm also sick and tired of the lies.
Management issues
Both managers are promising to win, and yet common sense tells us that one of them is being untruthful. This goes right to the character issue. Both managers have intelligence capabilities. Is one of them choosing to ignore the scouting reports? Is Terry Francona leading his Red Sox into a quagmire in which victory will be impossible? Is St. Louis' Tony La Russa in way over his head? Obviously, one of the two teams is overly optimistic, and by the seventh game it's going to be too late to withdraw with honor. Who among us actually believes it will have the integrity to pull out of the series when the writing is on the wall?
I believe that both teams owe Americans the following assurances before they embark on this risky escapade:
1. An honest assessment of their prospects.
2. Full disclosure of all pre-series intelligence.
3. A backup plan in case the first two games end unfavorably.
4. An exit strategy if the first three games are lost.
5. An impartial and thorough investigation if the team is swept.
No more promises. No more lies. Baseball fans deserve no less.
XArmstrong writes screenplays and television scripts in Los Angeles.