KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR \ Annie's Mailbox 'Lena' is barred from getting letters from inmates
Dear Annie: My 16-year-old granddaughter, "Lena," lives with me. Legally, I am her foster mother. The state is her guardian.
Lena is writing to, and receiving mail from, two young men who are in prison. They are both over 18 and incarcerated for four to eight years. I don't know what crimes they committed to get these sentences. Lena met them when they were in high school (before they were arrested).
I have blocked their phone calls, but how do I block their mail? I told Lena's social worker about the correspondence, but he just shrugs his shoulders. I sense real danger in these relationships. What can I do? Worried Grandma Out West
Dear Worried: It helps that these young men are behind bars for the foreseeable future. However, Lena will be at least 18 by the time they are out, and this could spell major trouble at a point when you won't be able to do much about it.
Please talk to Lena without becoming alarmed or angry. Tell her that prison tends to harden inmates, and these men are no longer the boys she remembers. Yes, they deserve a chance to prove themselves, but there's no way to know in advance how that is going to turn out, and Lena needs to understand the dangers. Also, get her involved in other activities after school and on weekends, so she is busy and will meet more suitable friends. If she sees a better future for herself, she will be less susceptible to the charms of these young men.
Dear Annie: I would like to respond to "Mom's Overprotective Daughter." It seems a neighbor, "Betty," is pressuring Mom to sell her home. One of your suggestions was to have the house put in the daughter's name. Deeding the house over to the kids may not be advisable for estate and gift tax reasons.
As a financial adviser, I have seen many attempts to coerce elderly people into doing things against their better judgment. Assuming all parties are agreeable, Mom should have a lawyer draw up a power of attorney appointing one or all of her children to act on her behalf in any and all financial matters. Or Mom can have a limited power of attorney drafted, addressing only the issue of her home. Once she has executed this document, she can say to Betty, "You'll have to speak with my daughter. She has full power and authority to handle this for me."
This solution would allow Mom to retain title to her house and let someone else deal with Betty. Perhaps the kids could pay the attorney's fee -- a small price for peace of mind. Mom is fortunate to have such a caring daughter. Charleston, W.Va.
Dear Charleston: We appreciate your expert advice -- which was much better than ours. Thanks for writing.
Dear Annie: Your recent response to the letter about TV commercials was a copout. No way is any TV station going to honor a request to reduce volume during commercials. Some of the worst ads are for pharmaceutical companies, especially the phrase, "Let your doctor know if you have this." Your doctor should already be aware of your problems and doesn't need you pestering him about medication. Car ads are another sore spot. They are simply a way for companies to show off. If it weren't for cheap payment plans, they would never sell.
While I'm at it, those sitcom laugh tracks drive me crazy. I don't need to be told when something is funny. It irks me to have to pay for such programming through the operating costs of television. I boycott anything advertised on TV. There are plenty of other goods on the market. -- Burned up in Mississippi
Dear Mississippi: Gee. Tell us how you really feel. Glad we could help you get this off your chest -- and with no commercial interruptions.
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