SUPPORT GROUPS With help, patients cope with cancer

By WILLIAM K. ALCORN
VINDICATOR HEALTH WRITER
CANFIELD--"You have cancer" are probably among the most dreaded words patients can hear from their doctors.
Even if the patient pretty much knows what is coming, the hard reality of the diagnosis can be shocking.
"I had suspected, because I had seen the results coming back. But, when the doctor said the words 'infiltrating ductile carcinoma,' it was like when you are watching television and things go black. Everything just stopped for a moment. Verbalizing it was the hard part to me. I didn't seem real," said Janice Weems of Youngstown.
"I was numb at first," said Carol Morris of Poland. "I kept hoping as we went through each test [the diagnosis] would be wrong."
A mammogram discovered cancer in one of Morris' breasts. Then, while she was having a biopsy, the doctor checked her other breast and found cancer there too.
"Even mammograms are not 100 percent," she said.
"I don't know that I ever got really angry. I was just determined I was not going to let this get me down," said Morris, who had a double mastectomy in 2003.
Besides shock and fear and anger, another common reaction to a diagnosis of cancer is to seek comfort and information from family, friends, support groups and other cancer survivors who understand firsthand what the new patient is going through.
An example
One such support group is the American Cancer Society's Look Good...Feel Better program, in which volunteer professional cosmetologists show cancer patients makeup tips. The patients also receive a free makeup kit with a 12-step makeup guide, and the kits are tailored for light, medium or dark complexions.
During a recent session of Look Good...Feel Better, led by Mary Ann Lark, owner of Hair Designs by Lark in Hubbard, four area women talked about facing cancer and the effects of treatments such as chemotherapy, radiation and surgery, and their need for support.
Look Good...Feel Better is one of several support groups conducted by the Mahoning Area American Cancer Society. October is breast cancer awareness month.
"Being 60, I was already concerned about my skin," said Weems with a laugh.
"With breast cancer, you get this altered body image about yourself. Also, you don't feel all that good and your skin gets dry during chemotherapy and radiation treatments."
"I didn't use a lot of makeup before. But, somebody told me about Look Good...Feel Better, and now I use every trick of the trade and I feel great about myself ... I feel more feminine," said Weems, who discovered a lump in her breast when a bra began irritating her.
Wendy Jackson of Campbell, a 30-year-old mother of two, found a lump in her breast while showering. She was diagnosed in July 2004, had a mastectomy Aug. 18, had reconstructive surgery and wore a strapless dress 10 days later.
But, it was nowhere as easy as that might sound.
"There are a lot of tears, but I just have to go and go. My kids keep me busy," said Jackson, a medical technician at St. Joseph Health Center in Warren.
Friends help
Jackson said an acquaintance of her husband's who had gone through the same thing at Jackson's age "has become my best friend. When I tell her what I'm feeling, she remembers feeling the same way. Then she'll say, 'You're going to feel like this.' It's just nice to have a friend like that."
"A lot of people say, I understand how you feel. But, unless you've been there yourself, you don't know," Weems said.
"As you may have noticed, we were all strangers at the beginning of the Look Good...Feel Better session. But by the end of the meeting, we had a relationship. It's a sisterhood," Weems said.
Sharing concerns and feelings and experiences with people who understand is one of the major values of support groups and relationships with other cancer survivors, the women said.
"It absolutely makes you feel better and also lets you know you are not in this alone. There is some strength and comfort in that," said Wendy Rodgers of Youngstown, who is in treatment for colon cancer.
Once the shock and fear and anger subside, the survival mode kicks in and you start looking for answers, one of the women said.
"You have a million questions about surgeons, radiation, chemotherapy and breast reconstruction," said Morris, who said the cancer society's Patient Navigator Program was particularly helpful to her.
A Navigator partner is trained to help patients access American Cancer Society and community-based resources.
Morris said when word of her cancer got out to a friend who was in the Navigator Program, that friend became her Navigator partner. In Morris' case, her navigator was also a breast cancer survivor and could provide personal information and help interpret medical results.
"I was on the phone with her all the time," said Morris.
Going public
Talking publicly about their cancer, once a taboo subject in many families, is not easy. But, the women interviewed believe it is important to let other cancer patients know help is available.
Rodgers, 52, who was 51 when she had surgery for colon cancer, had no indication she had cancer. Also, she did not know that colon cancer ran in her family until after her surgery.
"When I was a child, it was taboo to talk about it. But, when I came home from my surgery, I found out my grandmother had it when she was 47. My mom knew, but I didn't," she said.
As a result of Rodgers' experience, her whole family now gets checked regularly for colon cancer.
"My message is be frank with your family and find out your family medical history," Rodgers said.
One of the hardest things about having cancer is telling family members, the women agreed.
However, they all said their families have been very supportive.
"I am a widow, but my children are scattered all over. I was amazed at how they rallied around me," Morris said.
"My family has been very helpful and supportive. I couldn't do it without them," Jackson said.
"It was very difficult to tell my family, especially the children," Weems said.
"I have grown children. It was hard for me to tell them, because two of them live out of state, always feel they are not being told the truth about everything. But, I also told them the good news, that it hadn't spread," she said.
"We've all gone through a lot. My body may be a wreck, but my spirit is intact. This program has been a God send," Rodgers said of the Look Good...Feel Better program.
"Cancer, like any life threatening disease, is life altering. But, life is dynamic and forever changing. You just have to get with the program," Weems said.
alcorn@vindy.com