Workshop offers ways to initiate communication

By WILLIAM K. ALCORN
VINDICATOR HEALTH WRITER
LIBERTY -- Parents, don't read your daughter's diary unless you think her life is literally in danger, said Boardman psychotherapist Wendy Persson.
Instead, find a way to communicate with her to find out what's going on in her life, said Persson, keynote speaker at Friday's "Totally Girls!" workshop at Liberty High School for parents, teachers, counselors and others wanting to learn more about how pre-teen and teenage girls think and feel.
The workshop, organized by Persson, was co-sponsored by the Forum Health Center for Behavioral Medicine and the Trumbull County Education Service Center.
Recommendations
Rather than snooping in a diary, Persson "strongly recommended" that parents go out on a regular basis with their daughters, be it a walk or a ride in the car or to a restaurant or lying down on the bed together before they go to sleep -- anywhere that is conducive to conversation.
In a breakout session on translating girl talk and opening lines of communication, Persson urged participants to be aware of signs that a young girl wants to talk.
If she hangs around you a lot, says she doesn't feel well to stay home from school and be with you, wants to run errands or watch a particular television show with you, or there is a marked difference in her behavior, she may want to talk, Persson said.
Then, when she does begin to open up and talk, "affirm her feelings no matter what, even if it is not something you like. Don't be a truth cop. The truth will come out eventually," Persson said.
At that point, it is more important to be kind than right. The ultimate goal of communication is to continue communication, Persson said.
The aim of the workshop was to provide information on how to raise independent, confident, critically thinking girls who are mentally, emotionally and spiritually healthy, Persson said.
Other presenters
Other workshop presenters were:
UGuest lecturer Dr. Stephanie Dewar, director of the Children's Advocacy Center at Forum Health, who talked about the biological, psychological and intellectual changes young girls experience.
UDr. Catherine Altany Hammond headed a session on self-esteem and how to cultivate it in teenage girls.
UCatherine G. Anderson Keller, program manager for the Trumbull County Education Service Center, led a session on classroom strategies for dealing with gossip, cliques and bullying.
UHeidi Miller and Jennifer Gray, social service case managers for the Boardman Police Department, conducted a session on how to identify at-risk girls, perpetrators, bystanders and victims, and to better understand harassment and when and where to call for help.
Persson also led sessions on how relationships with boys can affect a girl's social status and friendships, and on cutting and eating disorders, areas in which she specializes in her private practice.
The overall goal of the workshop was to help adults learn how to help girls develop the skills necessary to help her think her way through the rites of passage.
"If she does this, she will achieve social competency, which leads to self-esteem," Persson said.
alcorn@vindy.com