KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR \ Annie's Mailbox Couple's checkbook situation is unbalanced

Dear Annie: A major problem in my relationship with my partner is about finances. She has said that I am a better money manager, but she refuses to let me manage it. When she has the checkbook, the bills are never paid on time. She goes through large amounts of money with nothing to show for it and no explanation of where it all went. She can go through $400 in two days. Once she said it was for her daughter's birthday, but the things she told me she bought didn't come close to that amount.
Every payday is a big battle, and it is taking a huge toll on our relationship. We have been to couples' counseling, where she was told that the money situation in our relationship was completely unbalanced. Still, she made no effort to change.
We are in a same-sex relationship, which should make no difference. Could you please give me some advice? The fights are making us both crazy. D.W.
Dear D.W.: The fact that your partner won't let you handle the checkbook, even though she is making a mess of it and cannot account for some of the money, indicates that she is hiding something. It could be a gambling problem, an addiction, or an inability to add and subtract, but something isn't right.
In most relationships, one person is more adept at handling money, and it doesn't matter if the person is male or female. Your partner needs to be honest about what's going on, or you might have to set up separate accounts. Talk to a credit counselor who will help you create a budget and manage your money responsibly. Try the National Foundation for Credit Counseling (nfcc.org) at (800) 388-2227.
Dear Annie: I read the letter from "Chewy in Nova Scotia," who bites her nails. You told her to work on her stress levels and maybe get a nice manicure. You said if all else fails, she should try the OC Foundation.
Please tell her about the wonderful products that can be bought in local pharmacies, often in the nail polish section. You paint them onto your nails, and they taste disgusting. My 8-year-old son stopped sucking his fingers overnight with the help of one of these products. You can find them at www.folica.com and www.stopbitingnails.com. Mom in Massachusetts
Dear Mom: Several readers recommended over-the-counter products that taste unpleasant and may help break the habit of biting one's nails or sucking one's thumb.
We have not tried these products and cannot recommend them, but if any of our readers would like to give them a try, feel free. Read on for more:
Louisiana: There is a product called "Stop Bite" that tastes bitter and curtails nail biting. Quit making this 12-year-old girl think that her nail biting is some kind of mental disorder.
Midwest: One of the best things I've seen is a tincture of herbs called "Bitter End" that's intended to cure dogs of biting woodwork and furniture. This is harmless, but tastes so bad that it can keep a hungry raccoon from biting through a plastic trash bag full of leftover chicken. The stuff comes in a spray bottle, so I recommend using a small paintbrush to make sure it gets only on your nails.
Brighton, Mass.: Please tell the 12-year-old nail biter to get some "Bitex." It is a liquid you put on the top of your fingers. This stuff is really disgusting and has helped me with my nail biting.
Ypsilanti, Mich.: After she gets the manicure you recommended, she needs to keep her hands busy. I learned embroidery and crochet when I was young and took those up again when I needed to stop biting my nails. Not only will crafting keep her hands too busy to bite her nails, but she'll have pretty things to give people and decorate her surroundings, and all of that will help relieve stress as well.
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