KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR Annie's Mailbox She can smoke in her own apartment
Dear Annie: I have lived in a wonderful apartment for five years. Three months ago, a woman who is a heavy smoker moved in downstairs. Her smoke drifts into my apartment, even when I have my windows and patio door closed.
Last month, the smell was so bad, I went to her apartment to confront her. She apologized and promised to buy a smokeless ashtray, but nothing has changed. Also, she is a senior citizen, and I know it would be nearly impossible for her to quit.
I have gone to my doctor because the secondhand smoke is affecting my health. He put me on allergy medication, but I am still suffering. I can feel the smoke burning in my throat and lungs. I am so concerned that I've started wearing a dust mask to filter out the smoke.
I have talked to the management office and was told there is nothing they can do. I also checked my lease, and although there is a section regarding "nuisances," cigarette smoke isn't listed. Please help me. Trouble Breathing in San Leandro, Calif.
Dear San Leandro: There are no current laws, even in California, that prohibit someone from smoking inside her own apartment. Since you have a health condition, it's possible you can seek redress through the California Fair Employment and Housing Commission. Otherwise, try adding some ventilation to your own place, perhaps a filtration system, that will help you breathe easier.
Dear Annie: I am dating "Roger," a man I love very much. In the past, Roger has dated overly jealous women who cheated on him, and now I am living in their shadow. If he neglects to introduce me to someone and I ask who it is, he jumps to the conclusion that I am jealous. If I am late when we are scheduled to go somewhere, he will leave without me. However, if he is behind schedule and I call to see if he is on the way, he thinks I am checking up on him and becomes very angry. I just don't know what to do. Confused in Freeport, Ill.
Dear Confused: It is unhealthy to walk on eggshells in a relationship because you fear upsetting the other person. Roger is insecure, childish, suspicious and inconsiderate. Get out while you can. He's not right for you (or anyone else).
Dear Annie: As a Navy wife and a vet, I appreciate all that is done for our servicemen and women, especially during the holidays. I would like to ask you and your readers to take it one step further.
Many of these deployed young men and women have young spouses and small children who live on military bases, far from family members and with little money to afford a visit home. Being away can be difficult, and there is the added stress of helping the children cope without the other parent.
I would like to ask that people consider opening their homes, or asking their places of worship, civic groups, etc., to invite this often-overlooked group of people to your holiday events. Just contact the nearest military installation and ask for their Public Affairs Office. It could make a world of difference. M.A.
Dear M.A.: Thank you for reminding our readers that the holiday season can be lonely and stressful for military families.
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