She turned to the wrong person for help

Dear Annie: I am 23 years old, married for four years and have a 19-month-old daughter. About a year ago, my husband, "Nathan," began treating me badly, calling me names, not helping around the house and not taking care of his daughter like he should. All he did was complain and sleep all day.
When Nathan's attitude went downhill, I turned to his best friend, "Carl." Now Carl and I have fallen in love, and we want to be together. Last weekend, he and I took a trip with my daughter. While we were away, Nathan badmouthed me to everyone in my family, and now they all hate me. They seem more concerned about his happiness than mine or my daughter's.
What about me being miserable for over a year? They see my cheating, but not the way Nathan treated me. Please help me deal with this. Unhappy in Nashville, Tenn.
Dear Unhappy: Oh, you don't get off that easy. When a marriage is unsatisfying, the person you ask for help is a marriage counselor, not Carl. You may have had a good reason to look elsewhere for emotional support, but it was wrong to seek comfort from another man. We also think you were subconsciously trying to punish Nathan by having an affair with his best friend.
Stop worrying about your family's opinions. You and Nathan married rather young, and you both were unprepared to deal with the realities of marriage and children. Please do not rush into another relationship. You owe it to your daughter to take the time to get it right.
Dear Annie: I am a 13-year-old girl in eighth grade. My mom comes home from work an hour later than I do. She leaves a list of chores for my brother and me.
Annie, I have over two hours of homework every night. When Mom comes home, she expects everything to be done. I explained that I can't handle all this and I thought she understood, but today she yelled at me because I wasn't changed out of my school uniform before dinner.
I have to practice my clarinet at least 20 minutes a day, and I'd love to have time to exercise or be with my friends, but forget it. I gave up TV long ago because my bedtime is at 8 p.m. I can never find time to get everything done. I'm the oldest child, so my parents give me more chores. How am I supposed to juggle all these things? Overworked and Stressed
Dear Stressed: Let's see if we can find a solution, starting with your bedtime. You are 13. Ask your parents if you can move your bedtime to 9 p.m. Then ask them to help you make a schedule. Emphasize that just as they need time to chill out, so do you. Show them how long it takes to do your homework so they understand the time restrictions. Add clarinet practice and then see what's left over. You're not going to get out of the chores, but it's possible your folks could cut back a little.
Dear Annie: I read the letter from "Speechless," who wondered how to tell her overweight friend, "Brenda," that she isn't likely to attract good-looking men. In my college days, I was athletic and attractive. There was a mousy gal who never seemed to have a social life. I often shared with her my woes about my girlfriend-du-jour. Our friendship deepened, and our group was shocked when Mousy and I became engaged.
For over three decades, this woman has been my best friend and cheerleader, and she still thrills me in the bedroom. I wonder what would have happened if some well-meaning friend had told her to set her sights a little lower. No one should deny some good-looking guy a wonderful wife. Someone's Prince Charming
Dear Prince: Kudos for being the kind of guy who is willing to look beyond the wrappings and see what's inside. You've given hope to women everywhere.
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Creators Syndicate
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