If president has his way, no bowler will be left behind

With the election behind us, I'd like to follow up on the progress of the No Bowler Left Behind Act.
Now that the pro-bowling president has returned to the White House, look for this neglected segment of society to receive better treatment.
Despite a slim margin of victory, George W. Headpin has a mandate that can't wait.
In his first administration, President Headpin unsuccessfully lobbied to pass the No Bowler Left Behind Act, which will promote the grand game to unprecedented levels.
It is his position that every American bowler -- left-handed or right -- be given proper instruction, be provided with adequate equipment and be versed in the basics of the game.
But the same tools that have raised the scores, have lowered the industry's health because the best get better and the bad don't.
Elite concern
President Headpin has stated repeatedly that this nation's bowling future hinges on closing the gap between the elite and the gutter class.
He's concerned.
He's made no secret that sport bowling is creating a caste system which separates the good bowlers from the bad.
Wrong oil, wrong pattern, wrong score.
You'd think a two-term president would support a two-tiered system.
But our leader isn't governing for the few. His vision doesn't end with high scores and high averages for some and not for others.
Fissure
He knows that one sport bowling league will lead to another and another. Soon there will be separate sport bowling and regular bowling houses, then creation of and squabbling between the Sport Bowling Association and Regular Bowlers Association.
A game divided is likely to split.
The No Bowler Left Behind initiative will probably be debated in the House of Proprietors before moving on. It could go all the way to the Supreme Control Desk.
There's always the special-interest groups, too.
Pee Wees want better bumpers and seniors want score security.
We'll get a better idea of the Act's status when the State of the Strike speech rolls around in January.
Remember, George W. Pinhead is the bowler's president.
He's Ivy League, but he also fits in a mixed league as well.
He didn't beat around the Bush with his re-election campaign slogan of "Four More Beers."
Barta has 805
Adam Barta had 805 and Bruce Curall 300-798 in Holiday's Shooting Gallery on Nov. 3, while, on Oct. 20 at Wedgewood, Barta had 802 in UAW 1112-Lucianno's Restaurant Men.
Among the women in Lucianno's Restaurant Mixed on Oct. 23, Teri Haefke had 761 and Brianna Ozias, 702. Matt Clipse's 715 was top series and Mike Johnson's 279 was top game among Jrs./Majors at Wedgewood on Oct. 30.
First-quarter winners at Amron were the teams of Rock Solid (Marcie Lottier, Bea Brewer and Helen Miller) in Hively's Sassy Classy Ladies and Artistic Images (Richard Kloss, Sandy Kloss, Marilyn Heaven and Bryan Kloss) in Ron Haus Mix Matchers.
F.D. Mason Classic's first-quarter champion at A-Plus was the Five Alive team of T. Wayne Robinson, G. "Hawk" Waker, Larry Bush, William Cousin and Willie Provitt.
Charlie's Service of Josh Calabrette, Julio Rosa, Rod Neider, Jon Ramsbottom Sr. and Jon Ramsbottom Jr. won first quarter in Wednesday Men at Holiday.
When the first quarter ended for Lohr Nationwide Insurance Match Play bowlers at Bell-Wick, Terri McCoy and Norma Rose were tied for first place.
bassetti@vindy.com