Her intentions weren't completely innocent

Dear Annie: My husband, "Vincent," and I have been married for 12 years. Vince always has been the one in control of the finances, etc., and it has taken me all this time to realize just how controlling he is.
I work as a customer-service representative and deal with a lot of the same people daily. To deal with Vince's emotional abuse, I began turning toward my customers to find support. One customer in particular, "Matt," always brightened my day, so I decided to go to his town and visit him so I could put a face to the name. The whole thing was quite innocent, but it backfired, and I am just devastated.
Vince broke into my private e-mails and assumed I intended to have an affair. To make matters worse, Vince accessed Matt's home phone and address, and his wife's place of work. He then called Matt's wife and told her I was planning to have an affair with her husband. He did not stop calling them or terrorizing them the whole time I was away.
I feel awful that this innocent meeting turned into such a disaster. Matt now will no longer have any contact with me -- professionally or personally. I totally understand, but I hate losing a friend. I am currently in counseling, but am not sure how much more of the distrust and control I can take. Any suggestions? No Strength
Dear No Strength: You're kidding yourself if you think your intentions were completely innocent. This is what we call "looking for trouble." You couldn't find a female customer to lean on?
Your marriage sounds miserable. Please discuss the situation honestly with your counselor and decide if you want to remain with Vince or not. Ask Vince to join you for a few sessions. Perhaps it will be possible for the two of you to work together to repair the damage and build a healthier relationship.
Dear Annie: Hooray for your response to "Look What Followed Me Home in Texas," the teenager who wanted to avoid a pesky girl who wouldn't leave her alone.
Thirteen years ago, my husband's sister died of cancer. She was 15. As hard as her death was, it was much more difficult trying to understand some of the cruel things her classmates did during the last years of her life. Because she had a brain tumor, my sister-in-law appeared different to those around her, and a lot of the kids at school made her life a living hell. When she succumbed to the side effects of chemotherapy, many of these same kids showed up at her funeral, apologizing to her family for the pain they had caused.
It is important that we, as adults, provide positive examples for our youth. By admitting the lasting guilt we live with when we intentionally hurt others, we not only are creating nicer individuals, we are creating a more loving society. I've forgiven the students who hurt my sister-in-law, and it is my hope that, out of respect for her memory, they will encourage others to be better people. C.B.
Dear C.B.: Place our wishes alongside yours. Here's one more:
Dear Annie: I am 16 years old, and the exact same thing happened to me. "Abby" would follow me and my friends around everywhere because she had no one else. We were all very mean to her. It wasn't until after my so-called friends treated me with the same cruelty that I realized what I'd done wrong. At the end of the year, I apologized to Abby. Fortunately, she forgave me.
Your advice was dead on. If "Texas" continues to act mean, she will regret her actions later in life. Even if other kids think she's uncool, at least her conscience will be clear. I honestly don't know how my former friends sleep at night. Proud of Myself in California
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