KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR \ Annie's Mailbox She's worried about son not wearing underwear

Dear Annie: Our 14-year-old son, "Kirk," has been going without his underpants since he returned from a school program three weeks ago. I learned this when his 11-year-old sister tattled during a sibling squabble. When pressed, Kirk said all the other guys were doing it and they dared him to do it, too.
I think this is very weird and worry that Kirk may get an infection or injure himself. His dad, however, sees nothing wrong with leaving the underwear off and admitted doing the same at Kirk's age. In fact, my husband has given Kirk permission to continue doing this. After a little father-son chat, my husband also found out that Kirk now sleeps naked. (Another dare from his classmates.)
I am not too concerned what he wears around his bedroom, but I do worry that he will be embarrassed or hurt by the lack of underwear. Do many teens go without underpants? Does it mean that he's gay or having sex? On top of those worries, I am concerned that Kirk is so susceptible to "dares."
We want to pick our battles, and I'm not sure if this one is worth fighting. What do you say, Annie? Wear Underwear in Colorado
Dear Colorado: "Going commando" is not unheard of, although it is not exactly hygienic. His slacks would have to be washed daily. It has nothing to do with being gay or sexually active. Yes, Kirk can be injured if he zips up (or down) too quickly, and he's certain to be embarrassed if he should tear his pants in the wrong place (not to mention insect bites if he wears shorts in the summer).
This is not worth a fight. Mention the consequences and let Kirk decide. (It doesn't help your position when Dad is on Kirk's side.) Then talk to Kirk about how kids often use dares to intimidate and humiliate those they perceive to be susceptible, weak or none-too-bright. He should develop the backbone to ignore them.
Dear Annie: I am a 33-year-old woman, married, with two children. My friend "Barb" asked me to baby-sit for her 2-year-old son full time (about 45 hours a week). However, I was shocked when she offered me only $25 a week. I was thinking more along the lines of $75-$100. Barb said she couldn't afford that.
Barb and her husband both have full-time, decent-paying jobs. They just spent quite a bit of money to "super size" their truck, but somehow don't have enough to pay me to care for their son.
I love Barb and her little boy, but I think 45 hours is a lot of time for so little money. Am I being selfish to ask for more? Crying Baby Blues
Dear Crying: Of course you aren't being selfish. She expects you to be a full-time baby sitter for part-time wages. If Barb truly has financial problems and you can afford to help her out for $25 a week, go ahead and do it, but otherwise, she is taking advantage of you.
Dear Annie: This is in response to the woman whose husband's family got drunk and became belligerent during social gatherings. I, too, was married to a man whose family became drunk and obnoxious.
After a few of these get-togethers, I finally had enough of the insults and name calling. I videotaped one of these gatherings on the pretense of taking family movies.
At the next dinner, before anyone had time to get drunk, I showed them the video and they saw firsthand how badly they behaved. Not only were they embarrassed by their obnoxious behavior, but several actually apologized to me. In a Much Better Relationship Now
Dear Much Better: Good for you. We say, whatever works.
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