ANNIE'S MAILBOX Son's future in-laws tried to convert them

Dear Annie: Three years ago, my son met "Stacie" in college. Shortly thereafter, he converted to Stacie's religion. I was not terribly bothered by this. Stacie is a lovely girl, and I was delighted when my son announced their engagement.
Stacie's parents invited me and the rest of our family for a "get-to-know-you" dinner. When we arrived, we were surprised to find missionaries from their church present. It soon became apparent they intended for us to convert. We politely told them we were not interested, but the rest of the evening was quite uncomfortable.
Stacie's parents are paying for the entire wedding. Stacie's father now informs us that the kids will be married in their church's sacred temple and only the "faithful" are allowed to enter. That means none of my son's family or friends will be able to come to the ceremony. Her father then added that only immediate family will be permitted at the reception, which means my son's friends and extended family are not welcome to witness or participate in any part of the wedding day.
I was willing to go along with this for my son's sake, but my other children are furious. They told their brother, "If we aren't good enough for the wedding, we don't want anything to do with the reception, either." Now no one is speaking to each other. My son and Stacie are miserable, Stacie's parents are livid, and I am stuck in the middle. Is there anything I can do? Groom's Heretic Mother
Dear Mother: You cannot reason with someone whose religious beliefs preclude associating with anyone who thinks differently. Why not host a separate reception for the couple, inviting whomever you wish, perhaps when they return from their honeymoon? Many parents do this for children who elope, and we think it is a lovely way to include those who could not be at the ceremony.
Dear Annie: You recently printed a letter from a woman asking how much she should tip her hairstylist. As a professional hairstylist, I would like to respond.
In a low-priced chain salon, the stylist typically earns minimum wage. But in privately owned salons, the average pay is often 50-percent commission. If a stylist is charging you $70 for a cut and color, you probably should leave a $15-$20 tip, as that stylist may be receiving only $35 for the hour's work. But if a stylist down the street charges $200 for the same service, you already have paid plenty for that person's time, and a tip is not necessary.
Tips are nice, but we would rather have a client's return business and the referrals of friends and family. Any Stylist, Anywhere
Dear Any Stylist: We're not sure other stylists would agree with you, but we appreciate your take on the subject. Unfortunately, most clients do not know whether or not their hairdressers are earning minimum wage or a commission. We say, when in doubt, tip.
Dear Annie: My husband and I own a retail business that is a generous supporter of many local charity and community groups.
For some reason, whenever we are dining out at a restaurant or socializing at a local club, people will come up to say hello and at the same time make a request for a donation. I think these people have crossed a line of social etiquette.
My husband feels an obligation to be polite, and I say it is best to tell these people to call at the office. Who is right? Angry Spouse
Dear Spouse: You are. Say kindly, "We'd love to discuss this with you, but we are enjoying a private dinner. Please call us at the office in the morning."
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