KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR \ Annie's Mailbox Sister's family gets better treatment
Dear Annie: I am a 38-year-old male, and my sister, "Anna," is 40. We are both married and have children. Since I was a child, my parents have treated us differently. It never used to bother me, but it's gotten much worse.
For instance, my 12-year-old daughter will say, "Grandma, I got an A in reading," to which Mom replies, "Oh, your cousin is beginning to be a good reader." Or my daughter will be sick, and Mom will say, "Your cousin has a scratchy throat." My mother has never attended a single one of my daughter's school events, but she wouldn't dream of missing one involving Anna's children.
Every Sunday after church, my parents treat Anna and her family to a restaurant meal. We are never invited. Anna and Mom go out shopping together every week. They wouldn't think to ask me to come along. The only time I am called is when they want me to fix something.
My daughter is heartbroken that Grandma doesn't seem to care about her. My parents are now talking about taking Anna and her family to Disneyland. As usual, we have not been invited. I cannot understand how parents can do this to their grandchildren. My folks always read your column, so I am hoping they will see themselves. I am not sure they even realize what they are doing. A Confused Son
Dear Son: Mothers and daughters often go shopping together, and it wouldn't occur to either of them to include a male. However, taking only Anna and her family to lunch every Sunday, not to mention a trip to Disneyland, is terribly hurtful, and the difference in the treatment of the grandchildren is guaranteed to cause hard feelings.
Since you are not certain your parents realize what they are doing, please show them this letter and tell them you wrote it. They need to know how you feel. We hope it will open the door for a long-overdue conversation.
Dear Annie: I have been married to "Ed" for five years. We have two children, one of whom I take care of at home. I also work part time as a waitress. Last year, Ed took a job in another state and is home only three days per week. This is a sacrifice we both made when we decided to buy our new, larger house.
Lately, Ed's pay isn't what it could be, and he told me I need to get a second job. Why should I play the single mom? I am Resentful in Chicago
Dear Resentful: Is Ed planning to keep this position, or would he consider something closer to home? How long is this situation likely to continue? Can you find a different job that would increase your salary without increasing your hours? Are there other expenses you can cut so you won't need the second job? Would you be willing to sell the house and move into something less expensive to maintain?
These are the questions you and Ed must discuss, together, in order to reach a decision you both can accept. This is why marriage involves work. Get going.
Dear Annie: My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. The problem is that he has an unusual sneeze, and we wonder if it can be altered. Let's just say it's rather messy.
I suggested he hold his nose and force the air out through his mouth, but he says he doesn't get the same sense of relief. Also, he sometimes sneezes eight or nine times in a row. The sneezes come on so suddenly that he barely has time to cover his face. He gets a lot of nasty looks from strangers. What can we do? Need Help
Dear Need Help: Work on the cause instead of the delivery system. He should ask his doctor to refer him to an allergist for testing.
Creators Syndicate