Pirates hitters surprising

With Memorial Day just a dozen days away, who would have believed two months ago that the Pittsburgh Pirates -- the budget-conscious, cash-strapped, owners of 11-straight losing seasons Pittsburgh Pirates -- would have two hitters in the National League's Top 10 for batting average?
And who could have imagined that the Wilsons -- shortstop Jack and multipurpose Craig -- would be the best reasons to purchase a ticket at PNC Park (unless you like fireworks, bobbleheads, figurines and the like)?
Even though the Pirates own the basement of the NL's Central Division (by far the most competitive division in the majors this season), they haven't fallen out of contention despite a six-game losing streak two weeks ago.
Who are these guys?
UAccording to the Nielsen national television ratings, only one in about 200 of you can identify the profession of Evgeni Nabokov, Mike Rathje, Jonathan Cheechoo, Vincent Damphousse, Miikka Kiprusoff, Jarome Iginla, Stephane Yelle, Martin Gelinas, Ville Nieminen, Vincent Lecavalier, Martin St. Louis, Nikolai Khabibulin, Keith Primeau, Simon Gagne, Jeremy Roenick and Tony Amonte.
They're ice hockey players with terrific monikers still contending to win this year's Stanley Cup.
For the record, Nabokov, Rathje, Cheechoo and Damphousse are San Jose Sharks; Kiprusoff, Iginla, Yelle, Gelinas and Nieminen are Calgary Flames; Lecavalier, St. Louis (pronounced san-loo-wee, not like the city) and Khabibulin are Tampa Bay Lightning; and Primeau, Gagne, Roenick and Amonte are Philadelphia Flyers.
The folks who engrave names on the Stanley Cup will have their work cut out for them in June.
UIf Enrique Wilson still played for the Pirates, they might be in first place.
UWhat's your pick for most disappointing teams in the major leagues? The Seattle Mariners (13-25) are shoo-ins for the American League. The San Francisco Giants (16-23) qualify in the NL but once Barry Bonds starts stroking homers again ...
UWant to know what nightmare that's keeping ABC executives awake these nights? Calgary versus Tampa Bay in the Stanley Cup Finals.
UThe Pirates are back home at PNC Park after last week's 5-1 roadtrip to Denver and San Francisco. Unfortunately, the Bucs are 4-10 at home and two of those wins came the first week of the season.
UDoes anyone sound happier in their jobs than the ESPN/ABC hockey announcers who rattle of the names of Nabokov, Khabibulin and Kiprusoff?
UBefore the major league season began, I was certain Bonds' home-run production would fall off. Between the steroids/THG accusations, baseball's improved testing for performance-enhancing drugs and advanced age, it seemed like there were too many elements combining to rain of Bonds' parade.
Bonds silenced his critics (including this one) with 10 quick homers, most of them coming in the first three weeks.
His back is aching now and limiting his plate appearances, so he may not be in position to break Hank Aaron's all-time record until 2006.
If Bonds was juiced in recent seasons, it's doubtful anyone will be able to prove it. Major League Baseball executives have test samples from a few years back, but have decided not to retest them for THG because that hormone wasn't covered in the previous contract.
UThe Pittsburgh Steelers finished 6-10 last winter and will be lucky to improve on that mark this fall. (Even the most diehard Steelhead has to admit that Bill Cowher's free-agent signings this offseason have been underwhelming.
With a rookie first-round quarterback waiting on the sidelines, the Steelers' prospects for 2004 can best be described as "rebuilding." How much worse would they be if they released disgruntled wide receiver Plaxico Burress to save some salary cap dollars?
UABC executives' nightmares, part two -- the Indianapolis Pacers vs. the Minnesota Timberwolves in next month's NBA Finals.
XTom Williams is a sportswriter for The Vindicator. Write him at williams@vindy.com.