ANNIE'S MAILBOX She knows she didn't do the right thing

Dear Annie: Recently, I cheated on my husband. It happened only once. He found out when my so-called best friend, "Louise," made sure he was aware of it. She pretended to be supportive, then turned around and told my husband everything.
I have since gotten past the misery of that night, and I am grateful to say my husband and I are working things out. However, I was so angry at Louise that I told her husband that she also had cheated on him. I gave him plenty of details, too.
I know that "turnabout is fair play," but now I feel guilty. Even though I told the truth, did I do the right thing? Curious in Iowa
Dear Curious: If you had done the right thing, you wouldn't be feeling so guilty, and you know it. Louise isn't blameless, but that doesn't get you off the hook.
If you are still on speaking terms with Louise, it wouldn't hurt to apologize for being vindictive. We're glad you and your husband are working through your difficulties.
Please allow Louise to do the same without any additional interference from you.
Dear Annie: I read the letter from "Fed Up in Salem, Ore.," who didn't appreciate age-related jokes about hair loss, hearing loss and laxatives. You said not everyone is offended by these jokes.
As a healthy, athletic 55-year-old woman, I am extremely offended. My mind is clearer today than it was 20 years ago. Doctors prescribe unnecessary drugs simply because you're over 50, and patients accept that they need two or three medications daily because of age-related symptoms, often caused by inactivity and obesity.
Unfortunately, people turn these "jokes" into self-fulfilling prophecies and actually do get sick. Although I look like the grandmother I am, I'm quite healthy and refuse to bite into the myth that women over 50 are somehow feeble.
Next time you hear an insulting age joke, remember that the only thing it does is justify giving up on a full life. Forever Alive and Well in Tallahassee, Fla.
Dear Tallahassee: Obviously, some people consider these jokes to have more significance than others. Here's one more:
Dear Annie: It really doesn't help anyone very much to get all bent of shape about things over which you have no control, and it is good to keep your sense of humor. As for becoming forgetful when you get old, I believe it is really a delay in the retrieval of information. Consider how much must be stored in those archives after 70- or 80-plus years. Still Hanging in There in California
Dear Annie: You have printed several letters about miserable in-laws. In 29 years of marriage, I have yet to do anything well enough to suit my wife's parents. I prepared all the food for their 60th wedding anniversary, yet my father-in-law went to great lengths to praise the two women hired to keep the buffet line moving and didn't once mention me. You better believe it hurt.
I continue to be polite to my in-laws because it is the right thing to do. They are, after all, my elders, and they raised the most wonderful woman in the world.
Second, if I fail to show compassion, I know it will hurt my wife. While she detests their attitude toward me, she still loves them.
My in-laws will soon be our guests again. They will not appreciate anything I do, but that's OK -- my wife will. It might hurt, but I'll sleep well, knowing I behaved far better than they. Battered but Unbeaten Son-in-Law
Dear Son-in-Law: You should be given a gold crown and a parade. We're glad your wife appreciates you, because most women who read this would scoop you up in a second. Thanks for writing.
XE-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@com-cast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox™, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, Ill. 60611.
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