HOW HE SEES IT Kerry keeps stumbling

By JIM SHEA
HARTFORD COURANT
Dear fellow John Kerry supporter:
We may have made a horrible mistake.
We may have backed the wrong guy.
Granted, it was difficult to stick with Howard after it became apparent he wasn't wrapped all that tight, but perhaps we were a bit hasty in jumping on the Kerry bandwagon.
So far, the Kerry campaign has all the forward momentum of a Dukakis tank ride.
Since sewing up the nomination, the two most memorable things Kerry has done are go on vacation and have surgery.
Last weekend, he went for a bike ride in Boston -- and fell off. You tie that mishap together with the shoulder injury he sustained -- riding on a bus -- and Kerry's just a staircase header away from wrenching the Slapstick in Chief title away from Gerald Ford.
Besides the walking-and-chewing-gum problem, Kerry is also turning out to be quite the gasbag. He's one of those people who if you say nice night to him, he wants to explain the cosmos.
I mean, two minutes of listening to Kerry these days and you're longing for the excitement of a Joe Lieberman foreign policy speech.
The thing is, we Democrats didn't endorse Kerry because of his intellect; we got behind him because we thought he would go nose-to-nose with Bush.
Now we're not so sure. Since securing the nomination, Kerry has been whacked around more than Larry, Curly and Moe put together.
What happened to the "I'm a fighter" thing? What happened to "bring it on"?
It's so bad that Kerry has even let the Republicans get away with criticizing his war record.
Dental exam
It was left to House minority leader Nancy Pelosi to point out that while Kerry was getting three purple hearts, Bush was getting a dental exam.
It was left up to Sen. Frank Lautenberg to deep fry Cheney and the chicken hawks, saying: "They talk tough ... but when it was their turn to serve, they were AWOL from courage."
If Kerry doesn't "bring it on" now, it's going to be hasta la vista, baby.
There are certainly ample targets of opportunity: Iraq, jobs, taxes, prescription drugs, the possibility Bush may be married to his national security adviser!
The bottom line, fellow Democrats, is this. If Kerry doesn't show some spunk soon, we should start thinking about nominating someone at the convention who will.
Dean -- with the right medication -- remains a viable option.
Sincerely,
Howard Beale
(Still mad as hell.)
X Jim Shea is a columnist for the Hartford Courant. Distributed by Knight Ridder/Tribune Information Services.